I Broke His Heart Because I Had To, Not Because I Wanted To

Chapter Fifteen - A study 'Nate'

Chapter Fifteen

A study 'Nate'

   When Nat and I got home, Sal had kept to her word. The house was quiet and empty. I went upstairs and got the stuff that we needed for the project: paper, laptop, scissors, glue, pens and pencils. I plonked it on the lounge floor. I then went into the kitchen and grabbed two cans of coke and then went back into the lounge. I handed Nat a coke and sat on the sofa. "Sooooo...where to begin." Nat said, opening his coke.

"Ummm, do you wanna' do some research and I do some writing? Or the other way round?" I said, putting my coke on the small coffee table beside the sofa.

"Don't mind." Nat said. "Flip a coin?" I nodded and pulled a coin out of my jeans pocket. I flipped the coin, caught it, put my hand over the result and said "Heads or tails? Loser does the writing."

"Heads." I raised my hand and saw that it was heads. I smiled and lay on the floor, pulling a piece of paper in front of me. Nat grabbed the laptop while I started to write a piece of random text.

   After a while, Nat said "So, how've you been?"

I shrugged and said "Alright. Had a good time with Lou on Friday. You?"

"Not bad, thanks. So, what did you and Lou do?"

"She slept round. We ordered pizza and tortured the pizza guy. Watched films and gossiped all night."

"Tortured?"

"Well, you know that pair of hot pants shorts and the cami that I wear for bed?"

"Yeeeeeah." Nat was nodding slowly, a small smile playins on his lips while a look of...despair washed over his eyes.

"Well, I was wearing that when I answered the door. When I had to get the money, I put Sal's bag on the steps and bent over to get it out. Lou said he was droolin' like a baby."

"You naughty girl."

"What else do you expect?"

"The good little girl that I got together with."

"Sod you." I said, sticking my middle finger up at him.

   "My point proven. You never would've done that a few months ago."

"I wasn't limited a few months ago!" I snapped, speaking before thinking.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, there's something. Tell me."

"Go to hell."

"What?"

"Fuck off!"

"Okay, I'm...gonna' go outside and...give you a minute." Nat then walked to the back door and went outside. I lay on the floor and took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down and stop snapping at Nat.

   When I'd calmed down, I went outside and went to sit by Nat on the grass. I smiled apologetically at Nat. He put his hand on my thigh and smiled. "S'alright." He muttered.

"I really am sorry." I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder.

He kissed my forehead and said "I know, Mel."

"No. I mean, for everything, for the breaking up with you, the making you sad, hurting you; all of it."

"I know."

"Good."

   "I know you're sorry but...I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

"I can't not be with you. I need to be with you."

"I know, but you can't." I whispered.

"Why?"

"Because you need to help me." I whispered.

"Well, I can't. I can't help you, it's killing me."

"I know it is and...it's killing me too. I want to be with you but...I can't. My being with you'll hurt you way more than this."

"How? I'm already in pain."

"Trust me, it'll kill like terminal cancer." I whispered this without thinking. Again.

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"Come on, tell me."

"Don't ruin the moment. Please."

"'Kay, Mel. I'll get it out of you some time though."

"Don't try."

"'Kay. Well, shall we go and finish that crappy project?"

"Sure." Nat stood up. "Naaat."

"Mmmm?"

"Help me up?"

"Sure." Nat put his hands out. I grabbed both of them and he pulled me up with ease. We then walked into the lounge and finished the project.

   After we'd finished the project, we ordered pizza. It was the same delivery guy. "So, you came back?" I asked before he could ask if I was Melissa Green. His cheeks burned like an albino in the sun. I grinned sexily and said "Unlucky for you, I'm in trousers and my boyfriend's here, make a single google eyed look and he'll beat you like shit." He didn't say anything.

He handed me the bag with the pizza in it and said "That's nine fifty, please." I grinned and handed him the twenty pound note. He handed me the change and said "Thanks."

"Thank you." I said, smiling all I'm-a-sweet little-angel like.

"Enjoy." He said and stalked off down the path.

   "Boyfriend?" Nat asked as I walked into the lounge.

I handed him the bag and said "Well, thought I'd scare him a bit. You see the way he mainly looked at his feet?" Nat nodded. "He was scared shitless and that's what I wanted."

"Ooooh, I get ya'. Nice one."

"Glad ya' thought so." I smiled and got another two cans of coke. I put them on the table and then got two plates. I gave Nat one and said "Enjoy."

   As we ate the pizza and watched TV, we lost track of time. At eight thirty, Sal came home. "Sorry I'm late, me and Nell kinda' got talking and, well, you know here we are. So, how'd the study date go?"

When Sal walked into the lounge and saw Nat, I said "Well, actually, it's still going on and it's not a date, is it Nat?"

"I'm keeping out, this is a sister thing. Oh, and hey, Sal." Nat said, smiling.

"Hi, Nat. Well, whatever it is, how's it going?" Sal asked.

"Good." I said.

   After Nat had left, kissing me on the cheek when he did, Sal came up to me and said "I thought you weren't talking? Now you're sat eating pizza together and he seemed pretty happy, if I do say so myself, for someone that wasn't with the girl he loved. What happened?"

"We spoke. Something slipped out and then we sort of...got on. We're not together, or anything, but we're not not talking. I've told him about how he can't get too close but he knows that I want to be with him, though I can't, and that it'd hurt him if I was with him. In the exact words I said 'Trust me, it'll kill like terminal cancer'."

"Did he pick up anything from that?"

"No. But that was the second slip I made. He said about how I wouldn't do something a few months ago and I said 'I wasn't limited a few months ago'."

"Oh. Watch your tongue, Mel. It'll get you into trouble, put you into situations that you don't want to be in, stuff like that."

"I know. I also know that life's a bitch." I sighed and then lent back into the sofa.