Stay Tuned

Chapter 44

On the way home, I resolved to push all negative thoughts out of my head. My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth. I rubbed my neck with one hand and gripped the steering wheel.

Joe. Nothing to worry about. I promised myself I would be better, more attentive.

Mother. I had to see her tomorrow. No excuses.

Rick. I’d deal with him tomorrow, too. Nothing happened, I reminded myself. Nothing. There would be no impropriety, ever. Or the appearance of it. I would clear the air and make things right. If it killed me.

Or Rick.

I pulled up to the curb and parked the car. Our house glowed from the inside with the warmth of fireplace embers. Home.

Inside was Chris. My marriage. Both needed serious attention and there was no time like the present.

I could fix things.

I made my way up the stairs and pushed open the door to our room. It was a little before midnight.

The light was still on; Chris dozed, sitting up on the bed, notes from work spilling off his lap.

Without a sound, I stole across the room on tiptoes, clicked off the light, and slipped out of my jacket and shoes. I unzipped my skirt and let it drop to the floor.

“You’re home,” I heard Chris stir and yawn.

“Hey,” I said softly. “I wasn’t sure if I should wake you.”

“No, I wanted you to.” Chris stretched his arms overhead. “I was trying to stay up until you got home. I wanted to see you.”

Wow. I stood still, unsure of whether to be flattered or ask why.

“Well, you first.” I reminded myself to be more sensitive to his job stress. “How are you? How’s work going?”

Chris didn’t answer for a moment. “Okay, I guess. Still tense around there. There’s so much competition going on, a few big projects. But, hey, I don’t want to talk about that right now.” He shifted on the bed. “Your turn. Tell me about your night.”

I hesitated, wanting to say the day was fabulous. But I couldn’t. The words spilled out of my mouth like they’d been poured from a bucket. “It was…terrible. The ten o’clock show was kind of a disaster. Not technically, just me.”

“Well, you seemed tense at first, but by the end you seemed back to yourself,” Chris remarked. “The six was flawless. You were funny.” He chuckled. “It’ll be okay.”

Did I just hear that right? He watched both shows?

It was all the encouragement I needed.

“Thanks, babe. You’re so sweet.” I walked across the room to Chris and put both hands on his shoulders, bent down, and gave him a long, slow kiss. His hands circled my waist and pulled me toward him. I let myself fall into his arms.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he murmured into my ear.

“Not right now.”

I clung to Chris and let myself forget everything else in the world other than his skin on mine. We made love for the first time in more than a month, tender and sweet, then urgent. By the time I peeled myself away from the bed, more than an hour had gone by.

While Chris slept, I watched the clock. I was wide-awake. Two a.m. Three a.m. Four a.m. At five, I couldn’t stand it any longer.

I slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb him. But I knew the reason I couldn’t sleep.