A Different Type of Booty~.(Pirate Tawna)

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Art by Sssonic02

(Alright quick note, I'll be restricting the names of private bits down to one for now. This is mainly because I take way too much time thinking about names and I don't have a lot of time nowadays. Sorry for the inconvenience, let's get back to the story.)

*Snoring while tipping off the side of the bed*

Chibi A/N: WAKE THE FUCK UUUUUUP!!!

AHHHHHH!!!

*Thud!*

Ow... *Gets up and Rubs his eye* How are you here? Didn't I hit you with a frying pan?

Chibi A/N: I've been point-blank nukes. A frying pan isn't going to put me down forever... Now then Do the thing before Turning your insides into your outsides!

*Sigh* Fine... Deja Vu sucks...

Finally! After all this time you've found it! The legendary treasure of Dickens the 69th! Let's hope he didn't stash golden dildo's as a joke...

(Y/N): Geez! How many dick jokes can you fit in a puzzle!?

You shout to yourself as this Dickens the 69th was clearly aware of their unique position within history... Which of course existed well past his death as he was really good at hiding loot behind Puzzles, Death Traps, Lots and Lots of Platforming, and very on-the-nose riddles... It also didn't help that there were a lot of bad guys trying to get to the treasure as well. Thankfully nothing a little TNT couldn't handle... Seriously there were crates of the stuff laying around. Anyways back to the point, you were paying to whatever god would listen that this was the final hurdle. That you'll finally find the treasure around the corner... And when you did and say the treasure room...! You see nothing but empty chests that's been recently looted. Apparently, Dicken's had a back door to the treasure room he never mentioned... You can probably guess that it's wide open.

(Y/N): MOTHERFUCKER!!! All that time wasted on a fucking puzzles about Cock and Ball's just for someone to grab it right under my nose!?

You shout in pure frustration as you notice a note... A note with some very familiar handwriting.

(Y/N): Oh please don't tell me she found out...

Every cell in your body is hoping beyond hope that that Bandicoot girl didn't find out. You two have a... Bit of a Close rivalry going on which has been getting ever closer in ways that often left your legs numb for the rest of the week. Bandicoot Sex Drives are terrifyingly high and they can be very persistent when it comes to a mate they like... And man does Tawna like you.

(Y/N): Alright... Let's see if my Willy Wang will get punished or not.

You pick up the note and started to read it. And much to your chagrin it IS from that damn Sexy Bandicoot.

Tawna's Note

Dear (Y/N) -

As you can see I've already been here and cleaned out the place. Probably for the best since it was nothing but Bejeweled Dongs and some very Questionable Jeweled Plugs. Now I could just tease you with even more riddles, but I think you've suffered enough with those dirty puzzles. Come over to the nearby Hotel... See you soon~.

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