im naming it later

Chapter 8: Crying

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS IMPLIED SEXUAL STUFF IDK WHAT TO PUT AS A WARNING

i stayed awake all night, until fan knocked on my door. "Paintbrush?", he said, worried. "Are you okay? Considering how yesterday you tried to... you know.." and i just looked at him. i didnt know. He said I tried to kill myself. i guess i did, but it was only because i was tired of living. I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

"I'm sorry," he said.
"I.."
"I'm so so sorry Painty... This is all my fault. If i wasnt such an idiot, i wouldve stayed with Test Tube or at least get her to leave with me.. Im so sorry.."
"It's alright. It's not your fault, really. If i hadn't been such a complete and utter moron, I wouldn't have left either. I'm just glad you're alright. " I said, beginning to cry. We met up with Paper and Bow for breakfast in the lobby. Nickle and Balloon were talking on the couch. We knew that Paper just had to deal with the loss of his boyfriend, OJ.
"We should go to the room," Nickle suggested.
"Yeah, it's been a while since we've done that." said Balloon.
"I know you guys were talking about leaving the lobby." I said, smirking. They looked at me, flustered. "W-WHAT?!" yelled Nickel, embarrassed. "Calm down, Nickel!" said balloon, slightly worried.
"We were just talking! It was nothing! N-nothing at all!"
"Well, if it was nothing, why were you flustered?"
"Because you were flustered!" he said. Fan began to laugh. "Go do whatever you two lovebirds were gonna do." he said. "Paintbrush was just playin with ya!" said Bow.
"Yeah, well, no need for secrecy anymore."
We finished eating. Nickle and Balloon left to go to their room, and we continued to talk. We discussed the death of Test Tube and tried to not talk about OJ's death. We all knew it was Lightbulb.
"Are you okay?" Paper asked.
"Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem a little distant."
"Do I?"
"Yeah.."
"O-oh. I guess i kinda zoned out.."
"Go rest. You need it."
I left to go to my room and began to cry into the pillow. How could Lightbulb kill someone?! She was the sweetest person i knew! How was it possible? I cried into the pillow for a few minutes. I got really quiet and just let myself cry. Then, i got really quiet and just let myself think. I needed to sort this out.