The Three Worst Secrets

Catch and Release

Hyunjin sighed, running up to the guest house. His parents were actually a little mad about the car. He'd have to wait and ask for a new one later. They did agree to buy Jisung a brand new van. The hunk of metal he was working with couldn't last him much longer, and if he was really living out of it well- he could benefit from some upgrading.

A knock on the door had him rolling his eyes. "How many times do I have to say I heard you before you leave me alone?" but when he slung open the door it wasn't his father with a new round of rules, it was just Jisung. "What the fuck?"

"Shut up before you ruin this. I'm sad. I hate you. But I need someone. Are you down?"

Hyunjin was still processing the sight of him on the stoop, his wild hair- wilder eyes. Jisung snapped his fingers "Are. You. In?"

"Yes."

They were kissing, the younger kicking the door closed with a dirty boot and licking into his mouth with an almost angry fervor. Hyunjin hummed in surprise, clutching his waist and backing further in.

"Uh. Hannie? Mm! Uh, what are- oh wow okay-" there were vicious hands on the button of his jeans, the hem of his older brother's designer t-shirt. The fabric was sliding off of him almost faster than he could try to keep it on. "Jesus what are- mmm! Okay, slow there... slow." He finally caught him with a hand on each wrist.

"You said you were in."

"I am, just- are you okay?"

"No questions Jinnie. Touch me or tell me to leave."

And the younger was crying, but if the darkening clouds were any indication- it was about to storm again- and he couldn't have him recklessly leaving. "You need it?"

"Like a fish needs water." He hiccuped, glaring.

"Okay. Okay."

It was hard. Jisung was wearing what smelled and looked like Minho's clothes. The inside of his mouth kind of tasted like Minho too and his brain kept wanting to call out to the elder, though he wasn't there.

They fell into the couch- another reminder of Minho- and it was only when he first pushed in that he forgot and said it out loud.

"Ah God, angel."

"Not your- fucking angel."

"I know sorry, sorry." They froze together, breathing into the silence.

"You call Minnie that?"

Hyunjin sighed hard. "Yeah. I'm sorry. You smell like him right now. Taste a little like him too."

"It's okay. I'm thinking of him too."

"Hannie?"

"Yeah."

"You crying again?"

"... Shut up and move before I go find someone else."

Another bleak Saturday. Minho hadn't been speaking to anyone except Changbin during the week and everything felt strange. There was a disconnection from the rest of the world without a phone. He missed messaging Felix, checking up on Chan's shared playlist for new music, rereading Seungmin's old texts.

No, not the last one.

In a moment of pure boredom he decided to sneak out by himself and hit the club. He remembered the way there. And maybe Chan or Changbin would be playing. Maybe Jisung would show up and convince him not to waste his youth pining over someone who was so clearly bad for him.