I'm infatuated.
Completely, consumingly, and entirely infatuated by something I do not have.
Stunned, paralyzed, and confused.
I yearn for the feeling I feel yet do not feel.
I imagine the feel. I've felt the feel, but it was not true.
A false feel.
A false feel conjured up by my hopeless mind in attempts of an escape.
My mind was aware of my fear. My gut-wrenching fear of the true feel. My fear of the fall, the impact, and the shatter.
I fear the beginning as much as the end.
So my cruel mind sent me dreams.
They were dreams of my fear, but they were pure bliss. They were pleasant, thrilling, and perfect.
Paintings of an alternate reality painted by my evil subconscious. An alternate reality where I wasn't afraid.
It showed me a false feel.
I feel deep into the false feel, consumed by its manipulation. So consumed the false felt true, truer than true, and I had never felt more alive.
But then my eyes fluttered open, and the true quickly faded to false.
My brave alternate reality vanished, and my fear instantly returned.
The pure happiness, thrill, and heat vanished from my soul, but forever burned in my memory.
The beautiful nightmares ended, and an infatuation set in its place.
I'm completely, consumingly, and entirety infatuated by something I do not have.
