The Clock Watcher

Chapter Five

1986

Valerie

The evening air was colder than usual for mid summer, and pulling my covers closer to my body, I still couldn't shake the chills climbing the back of my neck. It wasn't just the chill, something was wrong. Rolling to my side, I looked out the window at the moonlight peeking through and dancing across the ceiling. I always found comfort in the moon; in the idea that even in the dark, there's always a light. I sighed, flipping myself over and shoving my head into the pillow. After years without him, I still found it hard to sleep on my own. 

The lamp on the bedside table suddenly began to flicker, catching me off guard. Groaning, I sat up the same time the light decided to flare once more.

"And here I was thinking you'd be happy to see me," a deep voice spoke into my ear. My head whipped around to come face to face with him. "Hello Vally."

My mind searched for words, for something I could say, but I managed to come up short, like every other time.

He tilted his head to the side and flashed a sadistic grin, "Valerie Fraser, finally at a loss for words? Oh, how hell has frozen over."

"Y-you," I finally got out. I was too shocked by the revelation that Henry Creel was standing in front of me to realize that I had spoken my first word in years.

"Oh come on now Val, I know you can do it," he taunted, smirking at me, "Oh, Henry, you are incredibly handsome. Please, shove your big, hard cock into me." His imitation made my fists clench in anger, and he seemed to notice. "Don't be embarrassed, Vally, you're not the first one who's fallen for my charm."

"You. Left. Me," I finally choked out, tears welling in my eyes.

"I didn't leave you," Henry sighed, all traces of humor leaving his tone, "I saved you." He reached out to stock my hair, but at his touch I immediately flinched away. I looked up at him, regret filling his eyes and tears building in mine.

"Val, I didn't mean-" he started, but I didn't let him finish. His excuses didn't mean shit. He left me, and that was the only thing that mattered to me.

"Go."

"Valerie, please," he begged. I almost felt bad for him, but the memories that flooded through me, the events I had to live through alone, without him, made me suppress the feelings of pity rising through me.

"Please, just leave," I requested, unable to meet his eye.

He gave me a pleading look, and then let out a breath, "Fine, for you I'll leave." He paused for a second, before adding, "You should know, Valerie, that I never leave anything unfinished, and I mean that in more ways than one." And then he was gone.

When the sun finally rose, I immediately stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom. I sank into the bathtub, pondering the events of the previous night. It had felt like a fever dream that I wanted so badly to not remember. The words he spoke swam in my head, threatening to pull me under. Maybe I wished it would. Sometimes, when the silence was loud enough, I'd imagine sinking my head below the water and letting the water seep into my lungs. I'd imagine it killing me, ending my suffering. I could never find the courage to go through with it, though. My cowardice never truly mattered, anyway. I always had Henry. A sudden rush of guilt filled me as I thought about the night before. While a part of me knew that I made the right choice, there was still a part that was fighting the decision; the part that wanted to run into his arms and cry to him about all the times that he wasn't there, to tell him how Steve had been distancing himself from me because his friends didn't approve of me. But if I let myself forgive him, then I wouldn't be able to blame him for the years I've been lost on my own.