The next day, Sehun returned to the park and sat staring at the expanse of the Han river. This time he didn't daydream, he stared at the stretch of the Han River with his mouth chewing on the boba balls from the bubble tea he bought.
His father was on a business trip to Paju. Sehun doesn't know where it is. Uncle Tao is busy taking care of their moving data to South Korea. Kyuhyun Samchon is obviously busy at the hospital.
Sehun smiled sadly. Just the same. It's more lonely here because he doesn't know anyone.
He looked at the small children who were playing with the crowd behind him. Sehun can't easily get along and blend in.
"Why don't you play?"
"Lazy"
"Hmm..."
Sehun looked at the person sitting beside him now. He brought a box containing the tools Sehun knew were for knitting.
"Ahjusshi"
"Hmm?"
"Ahjusshi isn't weird really"
He looked at the little boy who was now staring at his big belly. “Ahjusshi is awesome!” praised Sehun with the two thumbs he showed off.
“In China, men who can be pregnant are all bold and confident! They walk on the streets or go to work with their big bellies, and that's cool!!”
"You think so?"
"Yes!!"
Sehun looked at the face covered by the mask and dark glasses. "So ahjusshi, there's no need to hide" he said in a whisper.
The grown man laughed. "Shixun is very good," he said praising Sehun which made the boy so proud.
They were silent for a long time without speaking. Sehun looked at the river water. "Is the river deep?" he asked ahjusshi who now stopped moving his hands.
"Why?"
“I've drowned, in a swimming pool. Almost died," said Sehun. “My parents are busy at work, and… um, I'm often alone”
“They are busy working for you”
"Mm, I know," Sehun said with a small smile. "I want to go home now" said Sehun who stood up and stretched his back.
"Ahjusshi, you're not coming home?"
"Hmm?"
"I'll take you home, let's go home!"
Sehun grabbed the man's index finger who was now looking deeply at Sehun then smiled and obeyed little Sehun. He followed Sehun while ordering him to turn right then turn left and keep walking.
“This is ahjusshi's house”
Sehun looked at the house that was as big as his house. There are stairs to reach a small gate that is intended for pedestrians.
"Want to come in?"
"No, thanks"
“Wait a minute, Ahjusshi has chocolate milk”
Sehun had to wait. He waited outside. He looked up at the sky which was slowly darkening with a strong wind blowing.
"Shixun"
"Yes?" Sehun turned around. That smile. Those beautiful eyes. That cheek. His eyes widened in disbelief. His heart was beating fast and his blood was rushing.
"Chan-yeol"
Chanyeol frowned. "Huh? You know my name?” he asked confused. He held out the milk to Sehun.
“This, as a thank you”
Sehun looked at the box of milk then looked at Chanyeol. Chanyeol really doesn't understand Sehun's eyes.
"Are you okay?"
Chanyeol stroked Sehun's cheek, which the little boy immediately brushed away. His rapidly beating heart made him short of breath. He squeezed his left chest, Chanyeol looked at him in panic.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine"
Sehun stepped back. The rain slowly fell from a small drizzle. Sehun stepped back but Chanyeol stepped forward, worried about Sehun.
"Shixun"
Chanyeol decided to stop approaching because of the danger if Sehun kept stepping back, and sure enough, Sehun also stopped stepping back.
Sehun looked at Chanyeol. A person who he had only seen from photos. He looked at Chanyeol who was also looking at him with a confused yet worried look.
Sehun was about to say something before his eyes saw Chanyeol's big belly which was clearly visible because his shirt was wet from the rain that was slowly falling heavily.
"Come in first, it's raining"
Sehun was silent. Tears filled his eyes. He looked up at the sky. Grateful because this way he can cry without anyone knowing he is crying.
“Chanyeol, are you happy?”
His voice was hoarse and hoarse. Chanyeol looked at the five year old boy then nodded without thinking much about his own feelings.
"I'm happy, of course. Why?"
Sehun smiled and bowed. He turned away with a half run. Chanyeol looked at him confused. A little worried about Sehun but he let the boy walk away alone.
Sehun ran home. He barged in the open gate without greeting Shin uncle. Without stopping he ran into his house and went to his room. Jump on the bed and cry uncontrollably.
His hand squeezed the bed cover. And when it hurts so much, he cries and wails in a loud voice.
Turns out it hurts. Sehun didn't think this would happen. He didn't think about the possibility of this happening. He didn't think about the possibility that Chanyeol already had a family, was pregnant, and was also happy with his life.
He sobbed louder, shattered by his own expectations.
Sehun was excited to meet Chanyeol. He imagined many fun scenarios when he met Chanyeol. It's not like this. Not like this.
His breath became short of breath because he was disappointed with his own expectations. His breath hitched. He bit his hand to try to dissipate the pain in his heart, but couldn't.
That day, Sehun cried non-stop with his body shaking from the tightness and sobs he was trying to suppress. He was hurt inside.
-because of his expectations.
Don't expect too much because sometimes we create our on heartbreaks through expectations.
YOU ARE READING
Krisyeol; The Immutable Truth
FanfictionI was in Love. Now, I'm in Pain. You were my Happiness. Now, You are my Sadness.
47 ◕ Expectation (🇬🇧 Vers)
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