I jump into the fire
Not because I want to die
Nor is it to disfigure
Self-loathing keeps me alive
The thought I deserve to suffer
My self-flagellation is warranted
At least that's what I feel
My inner monologue illustrated
I have done no evil deeds
Or wronged those I love
But the face I see to me is a disease
All my defects giving me a shove
So I leap into the flame
Burns blistering an already scarred body
Intrusive self-destruction
Ravaging the soul of a nobody
I do not self-pity
There is nothing to feel sorry for
It's just a part of who I am
Like the irredeemable stain upon the floor
I keep on walking forward
Yes I trip and fall
Sometimes I feel stagnant
Or at least moving at a crawl
The self-hatred comes and goes
Sometimes the flames are an inferno
Others it is a lowly ember
Where I find the strength I don't know
There is a drive that continues to fight
It's not something I can put in words
But I refuse to lose to anyone
Even when I feel abhorred
I will not let the flames defeat me
I will not continue retreating
I may take voracious beatings
I know I may be repeating
But I will make one thing clear
I will not succumb to fear
I will find a way to douse the flames
That licks my heels every day
I will not lose to anyone
Most of all myself.
YOU ARE READING
Ink & Tears
PoetryThis is a collection of poems that I have written about my struggles with depression, anxiety, love, nature, and the darker aspect of the world that seems to always hammer on my heart. I hope this reaches some of you.
