Unrequited Love

Chapter 26

   After that day, Ren and I decided to move into a new apartment. I left the one I had just recently moved into, which was surprisingly easier than I though it would be since Olly was looking for a new place to live. Ren found a new sky loft in upper Manhattan, a few blocks down from her old penthouse. I think she is happy about the decision, finally moving out of a place she has lived so long at- and I am too. A new place, for new memories- only for Ren and I to share.

It took about a month to finally settle into the new penthouse, a two bedroom, two bathroom, living room, kitchen, an office room, and a patio. Ren apparently had been working from home most of the time ever since her first suicide attempt, but recently decided to try and start going back- and of course she is already over doing it. She is thirty three years old now, almost thirty four. She still looks about the same from back in college- her skin is pale, her hair still long and blonde, her tattoos still dark from never seeing sunlight. The only thing different is how she looks worn out almost everyday, as if she is purposely wearing herself out. As if- just existing is tiresome for her.

"The view sure is nice" I said as I walked out on the patio, "I can't believe you found an apartment with this big of a patio" I looked over at Ren who was smoking her cigarette, staring at the city night lights that were shinning down below.

"Yeah, it's nice to finally have a patio after all these years" She turned towards me and blew out her cigarette smoke, "I'm tired." Ren burnt out her cigarette.

"Rice Cake" Ren looked over at me, "How was work?"

"Cut the small talk" She said as she walked back inside, "Work was fine, same as always."

"Hey" I raised my voice at her, Ren stopped in the middle of the living room then turned back around at me, "Are you happy?" I slowly asked. Ren's facial expression did not change, I could not tell what she was thinking.

"What a foolish thing to ask" She said before turning back around to walk to our bedroom. I was dumbfounded, a foolish thing to ask? What was so foolish about it? A person's happiness should mean everything to them, if a person isn't happy- what is the point in living? I know she didn't try to commit because she was happy. But maybe she was right- maybe it was a foolish thing to ask. Has she really never felt happiness before ?

I slowly walked into our bedroom to find Ren just getting out of the shower, "Can we talk?"

"If you're going to ask my the same thing, then no" She said while walking over to our closet.

"But rice cake, if you aren't happy, what am I to do?" I said, a feeling of deplete took over me as I sat down on the bed, staring down at my feet that were touching the brown wooden floor.

"You don't have to do anything, it's not your problem" I looked over to see Ren lying in bed, "You don't have to worry, I'm not going anywhere" Ren smiled at me.

"Have you ever been happy? Why does my little rice cake have to be so depressed?" I said as I snuggled up next to her, "You don't have to be so cynical all the time, life can be fun."

"Okay" She kissed my forehead. I stared at her with an irritated look on my face, then she looked away from me, "I don't remember the last time I was genuinely happy, maybe it was with you or maybe it was during my childhood. I'm not too sure." Ren said as she stared up at the ceiling, "I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was fifteen years old. It's not like I let the diagnose effect my life, I never thought about how I was clinically depressed." She looked over at me, "Knowing that you're in my life is what makes me happy, so I would say I'm happy."

I smiled as I hugged Ren, "I'm so happy. I want to be with you forever"

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It was weird. Meeting a beautiful stranger, falling in love, becoming friends, becoming friends with benefits, to not being friends at all, then becoming lovers. I did not think I was that significant in her life- I just watched from the side lines for most of my life.

I watched as she started dating Leo, and yeah- maybe I did purposely mess things up between Ren and Leo. But if I had not, she probably would not have ever been mine.

Now, my little rice cake, is finally mine.

To think- my unrequited love, would one day be a requited love.