Unrequited Love

Chapter 1 ( POV: Ren)

Ren:

Love has always uninterested me, but everyone seems to be so obsessed with this world. If you are not married by thirty, dating in your twenties, or at least looking for someone- you are not considered normal. What is normal, is to find a partner to spend the rest of your life with. People do this in order to not feel so lonely, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I do know someone who loves me, and I think they are the only person who has ever loved me before. This is the same person I use in order to not feel so lonely, just like everyone else in this world does. But unlike that person, I don't love her back.

    Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I am not really sure.

    I have spent my whole life not knowing a single thing about this emotion. To put it into perspective, I never told my parents that I loved them, because I never did. We all just exist, my parents created a new life to contribute to society, and here I am.

    I have no right to say anyone belongs to me. Nor do I think anyone else does.

    I have no right to keep a person for my own selfish reasons. We all use each other in order to not feel as lonely, we want to be in love with a person and for them to love us back. But can we really call that love?

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        I wake up at seven, go to work, sit at my desk and wait for the clock to strike five, then I take a cab back to my apartment, to do the same exact thing all over again the next day. Every day on repeat. On the weekend, I do not go out very much and if I do, it is either to check out a book from the library, to take a stroll through central park, or I'm being dragged out to the bar by my roommate.

      I am twenty nine, single and living with one roommate, Yuri, who is basically the only one that keeps me going, or rather keeps me on my toes. She considers me her wingman or at least used to, up until recently she would force me out to the bar almost every night so she could look for another person to sleep with. And on those nights, I would lay in my bed, hearing her and some girl go at it from across the hallway. But throughout the seven years of living with her, she has never had a real relationship with any of the girls she has been with, up until now. She started dating one of the girls from her band, Ari, who has dyed red and black hair and has a silver chain that attaches from her lip to her ear, along with a couple other face piercings, just like Yuri does. As a couple, they can be pretty loud and obnoxious at times, like little kids.

    The relationship I have with Yuri is not very complicated, she has been my friend since college and now lives with me, rent free. I have slept with her a few times (maybe more than a few times), for me- she is just another person that can satisfy my sexual needs.

    Currently, I am a publisher at Bloomsbury Publishing in New York City, so my job keeps me busy as is. I graduated from NYU when I was twenty one and immediately was offered a job at Bloomsbury for having a keen eye in literature. About to go on my ninth year at the company, I get paid enough to live alone in a decent apartment in the city, but here I am, still living with my college roommate.

    Yuri is a musician and a part time barista at some hipster coffee shop about a block down from our apartment. She is the lead vocalist and guitarist of her band that is surprisingly well known, for mostly playing at local venues around the city. She has long dark brown hair almost a light shade of black, tattoos on both arms; two lips piercings, a septum piercing, two eyebrow piercings, and a silver bridge piercing. The total opposite of me, yet I am still attracted to her.

    "What you doing my little rice cake?" That is her nickname for me, to be honest, I really don't know how she came up with it.

      I was sitting on the black leather couch in our living, staring at the black television screen as I drifted off into my own thoughts, mostly contemplating if I should turn on the television or not.

    She walked up to me and put her face right in front of mine, almost touching noses, "Come grab lunch with me, my little rice cake."

    I returned to reality when she bopped my nose with hers, "My name's Ren," I said while she started walking towards the front door.

    She waved her hand signaling me to follow her, "Whatever you say, rice cake."

     She looked back and winked as I got up to put on my black shoes that I wore whenever we would casually walk around town. Then followed her to the elevator, we lived in a modern style apartment building in Upper East Side Manhattan on 92nd Street. A two bed and two bathroom, with a kitchen that had an island in the middle, a dining room table that sat six people, and a living room with a view of the city.

    "She's cute, get her number." Yuri kicked me with her foot under the table as we were waiting for our food.

    "She's our waitress."

"So?"

    "I'm not asking for our waitresses number."

    "Your loss."

    I let out a big sigh, "It's not my loss, we come here at least once a week. I'm not asking a girl for her number who probably has a boyfriend."Yuri intensely stared into my eyes as the waitress came back with our meal, as if she was waiting for me to do as she said. "You're so embarrassing." I said once the waitress left.

    Yuri wore a black lip piercing and a side hoop nose ring and most of the time, would wear her long black hair in a messy low pony tail. She would always try to set me up at the worst times with the most random people. If she was trying to be my wing women- she was doing a terrible job.

    That Sunday was my birthday, I was hoping that she would not remember, but I got up to see Yuri sitting on my bed staring at me as I slept. I did not process this right away, I opened my eyes, saw her looking at me, then closed them again.

    I laid there with my eyes closed for another minute until I realized Yuri was actually in my bed, staring at me and what I saw was not a dream. I sat up from my bed, "Why are you watching me sleep, you psychopath." I noticed she was holding something behind her back, "What are you up to?" I squinted my eyes as I leaned towards her.

    She laughed and placed a cake in front of me, "Happy Birthday!" The cake was covered in candles, "I had them put thirty candles on it."

     I stared at the cake, trying to process what was happening; being that I had just woken up. Without saying another word, I walked to the kitchen to make coffee, she followed behind.

    "Little rice cake." She placed the cake on the counter, "Let's light the candles."

    I poured a cup of coffee for myself and sat down on the couch in the living room, ignoring Yuri, in hopes that she would not light the candles. But a few minutes later, she walked up to me holding the cake that was covered with thirty lit candles.

     She placed the cake on the coffee table in front of the couch, "Make a wish." Yuri sat down next to me as I painfully and slowly blew the candles out. I leaned back onto the couch after completing this awful task, "What'd you wish for?"

    "A new roommate." I bluntly said.

    She ignored me, "What'd you really wish for?"

    "Nothing."

    That was the truth, I did not wish for anything. What would I have even wished for? Wishes do not come true, if you want something to happen, you have to make it happen yourself. Wishing for something then waiting for it to come true is a fairy tale that was made up in children's books- giving them false hope, only for the reality of life to hit them later on. So no, I was not going to make a wish.

    "Little Rice Cake, can I kiss you?" Yuri said as she leaned into me, "You look so pretty right now" She said as she kissed my lips.

    "Yuri you're dating someone" Yuri did not say anything back, instead she sat on top of me and started feeling her way up my shirt.

    "Ari wouldn't mind, I just want to make you feel good since it's your birthday, rice cake." Yuri pulled my shirt up and starting kissing my breast. A burning sensation ran through my body as she slid her hand down my pants, "My rice cake is already so wet, how lewd."

    A morning that consisted of sex with Yuri, a usual reoccurrence.