Hopeless shadow and Golden urns # 1

Kabanata 5

Jane Elliot's Diary
(Jane's point of view)

"You will never believe it father, ang sabi niya nagustuhan daw ng lola niya 'yung mga ginawa ko," I said, giggling.

My father smiles, he's holding a book. We are inside his room.

"Everyone will definitely love your work, Jane. They're amazing."

"Sinasabi niyo lang po ba 'yan kasi anak niyo ako?"

He laughed. "Of course not. Come here," turo niya sa upuan na nasa harapan niya, mabilis naman akong umupo at tahimik na nakinig sa sasabihin niya.

Ipinatong niya ang kamay niya sa ibabaw ng palad ko. Kaagad kong naramdaman ang mainit na palad ni papa.

"Lahat ng gawa mo, pangit man para sa 'yo, lahat iyon maganda para sa 'kin. Ikaw ang gumawa ng mga iyon, be proud. And I know deep inside you know your power Jane, you have the eye, the knowledge, the wisdom, you are your own world, you rule it," he said before kissing the top of my head.

I smile. "Thank you, father."

"Oh Jane, my favorite of all."

Mahina akong natawa. Mabuti na lang at wala si Nesta, kung hindi nagselos na naman iyon.

"I need to go, kailangan ko pang samahan si Ate Marcia sa bayan, ngayon na kasi namin kukunin 'yong tela na gagamitin niya para sa," I shrugged, "hindi ko alam kung saan niya gagamitin."

My father smiled. "Take care, Jane."

I smile and leave his room.

"Good morning, Miss Jane."

Kumuha ako ng isang pirasong tinapay sa basket na hawak-hawak niya. "Morning Gael. I'm with Hans, yesterday, he couldn't stop talking about you," I raised my eyebrow.

Lito itong tumingin sa akin, hindi ko naman maiwasang hindi ngumiti. "He said he likes the way you fixed things," pagsisinungaling ko na hindi niya napansin dahil minsan na siyang tinawag sa bahay nila Hans para ayusin ang nasira nilang gamit.

Gael is a dependable man. We are so glad we have him in this house.

Maya-maya pa, nagpaalam na sa akin si Gael pagkakita na paparating na si Ate Marcia.

"They are hopeless," dagdag ko pa bago umupo sa malambot na upuan.

"When you're in love, sometimes, you are hopeless," Ate Marcia said without knowing the context of my words.

Well, she's brilliant.

I blinked. "Are you in love? Are you getting married?" may halong pag-aalala kong tanong.

She's not the kind of woman who enjoys talking about romance, so.

"N-no, I'm just saying," she starts laughing softly as if I said something funny.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag sa isinagot niya. Hindi sa ayaw kong ikasal si ate, pero aaminin kong hindi ako masaya sa ideya na balang araw ay ikakasal si ate at kinakailangan na niya kaming iwanan.

Pero sana, kung darating man ang araw na iyon, sana mahanap ni ate ang para sa kanya, iyong tunay na magmamahal sa kanya. Iyong hindi siya sasaktan.

We once talked about our dreams. She said — I still remember — she wants to own a clothing shop. Her favorite pastime is simply sewing. As for my next sister Nesta, her pastime is dancing.