To start things off, we should get to some of the basics. Appearance is everything in this miserably superficial world we live in. If you are not attractive, there is no possible way you can succeed in life. Everyone will write you off as the ugly guy. Your friends actually pity you and keep you around only to make them look good. If you're not the ugly friend, you have one. But, "Oh! I'm genuinely friends with them! They're really cool!" Absolute bullocks. You were obviously forced into a situation where you had to become friends with them or sit in a heavy awkward silence. You really didn't want to talk to them or be friends, but they just happened to strike up a nice conversation and they were quite engaging. That is the only reason you are genuinely friends with them. The only way that you were ever genuinely wanted to talk to them was to get out of the heavy silence or you're Jesus. There is no other way you could possibly have wanted to strike up a conversation with someone as ugly as them.
This is why appearance is important. This determines your surroundings and your friends. Besides, we all know the ugly people are always the ones to die first in horror films. This is why you need to be beautiful.
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The ABCs of Self DiscoveryHumor
Are you miserably lost and don't know who you are? Then you've failed. Read this and stop being such a failure. Don't worry, I'm sure even with your literacy level, even you can understand this. If you're not offended by the end, I have failed. Then...