41 | Undeniable

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This was the last place he should have been

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This was the last place he should have been. It had only taken one step inside the house to know he had made a mistake, but Sebastian had no plans to correct it.

"Did you two have a fight?"

He didn't bother to look up from the tumbler of whisky in his hand, deciding it was best not to say a word to the pacing girl in front of him. Acknowledging her would have been a mistake, yet ignoring her was impossible.

"What was it about?" Blair pressed, coming to a stop in front of where he was seated on the couch.

A hand came to rest on her hip, a hardly noteworthy action, but the movement caused Sebastian to catch a whiff of her jasmine perfume. It was a scent that never failed to make his heart pound, but now it just made him feel ill.

Sebastian finally worked up the nerve to meet her gray-blue gaze, answering the question without a word. He didn't need to; she could read him like an open book.

"You," he said. "Us. Her."

"So it's true," she murmured, lowering herself onto the couch beside him. "I really shouldn't have expected any different. She was obviously against all of this from the start. I don't know why she bothered to agree if it was just going to end up with her being mad."

His gaze dropped back to his drink, but the amber liquid held no answers. "Tell me about it."

Blair let out a noncommittal murmur as she crossed one golden leg over the other, causing her already short hemline to rise higher, and Sebastian couldn't stop himself from following the smooth lines of her thighs.

"Are you two still together?" she questioned gently, sounding for once genuinely concerned.

He shook his head, embarrassed by the presence of tears prickling behind his eyes. Taliana had never loved him, had never felt the same way he did, and made it clear that she never would. He blinked them away, focusing on the bitterness instead of the pain. It was over. Truly and undeniably over.

And even though she had been the one to say the damning words, it had been his fault. All his fault.

"No," he said, surprised his voice didn't break. "She ended it. I... she..." He stopped to draw in a breath, to gather his thoughts. "She means so much to me, but we're done. It was her choice, but I didn't fight it. I don't think she wanted me to."

And it killed him

An eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch, hinting that Blair couldn't see the reasoning behind it. It was a subtle move, but he knew her well enough to know what it meant.

"If you feel so much for her, why are you here?"

Because you're the only one who still loves me. Who could ever love me.

Sebastian wished that wasn't the answer, but as he sat here he knew it was the truth. At first he hadn't been sure why he had driven here instead of his own house after the blowup with his newest ex-girlfriend, but now it was clear. Maybe he and Talia really just weren't meant to be. Maybe his destiny was sitting beside him in her black dress and fuck-me pumps.

The thought made his chest constrict in a mix of grief and terror.

"I don't know," he whispered instead, bringing the glass up to his lips. The drink burned as he downed it, but he was past the point of caring. "I really don't know."

"Don't lie to me, Sebastian. You know exactly why you're here."

Did he? Or was she just reaching for straws? Whatever it was, he didn't want to think about it; he didn't want to think about anything. He just wanted her to make him forget.

"I don't know, Blair." He set the empty glass down on the table before turning to her. "I just—"

She pressed a silencing finger to his lips.

"Tell me one thing, Sebastian, and answer honestly," she began, about to ask a question that was bound to shape the fate of the night. "Do you still have feelings for me?"

The truth was on the tip of his tongue, a bold and resounding no, but he couldn't get it out. "I don't know."

But that was enough for her.

He didn't stop her as her lips descended on his. The kiss was gentle and fleeting for the first few moments, but it took a turn when her tongue brushed his bottom lip.

It didn't help that he was pulling her closer.

The combination of her fingers sinking into his hair and the low moans that escaped her throat only egged him on. As his hands slid from her waist to her hips, the realization that this was the wrong girl draped across him finally sunk in.

He needed to stop while he still could, but the words of the girl he loved were still burning in his mind.

She never loved him. She never would.

The little voice in the back of his head was whispering for him to leave, but the low hiss had morphed into an easily ignorable murmur.

All logical thinking ceased when Blair's hips ground into his, successfully shoving any and all thoughts out of his mind. His fingers trailed up her back to where the zipper of her dress was nestled, and he tugged gently in an attempt to make the thin barriers between them disappear.

Much to his chagrin, she pulled back and shook her head. "Not here."

Sebastian groaned softly as he leaned in again, letting his forehead rest against her collarbone. "Then where?"

"Come with me," she coaxed, rising to her feet in one fluid motion.

If nothing more, the lack of contact and body heat turned him into a lost puppy, and he followed her down the hall in the hopes of getting both back. The ultimate destination was her bedroom, a place he knew unsurprisingly well, and it took them no time to get back to where they'd left off.

Blair curled her fingers into his shirt and pulled him back to her, lips meeting again in a series of desperate kisses. His hands made it back to the zipper on her dress, but this time she didn't protest, and the fabric pooled at her feet a moment later.

His eyes danced across her body, drinking in every detail. Even in his heartbreak-haze, he knew the girl in front of him was the closest thing to perfection he had ever seen in his life, but she was nothing in comparison to—

She doesn't love me.

"Is this really what you want?" Blair asked, her voice once again drawing him out of his thoughts.

He didn't want to hear her speak. He didn't want her to remind him of all the things he'd lost while just trying to do good.

"I need you to be sure," she pressed.

He wasn't sure in the slightest, but at least there was one person in this godforsaken world that still loved him.

"Shut up, Blair."

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