Unacceptable (GerIta) (Holocaust) (Boyxboy)

Chapter Four

I sat at the table silently, ignoring my father and my brothers discussion.

Honestly I didn't care what they were talking about.

I had to process this.

I ate my bread as the screams and banging stopped outside, no longer haunting me.

The sun set slowly over the village and made it dark, all the shadows creeping out of corners and cracks.

My father looked over at me and apologized.

"I'm sorry- about..the whole..Nazi..living in your room-"

"Its fine." I cut him off and it turned into silence. I didn't want to hear it. Honestly..all I need to do is put on my happy exterior and then everything will be fine.

Right?

The only sound was heavy footsteps down the stairs, stopping at the seat next to me.

"May I sit here?" Ludwig looked down at me and I nodded in return.

He sat down and everyone looked at him, studying his features. He had a dark black suit, with buttons and medals. Not to many though. He had a hat, that made him look like a general, he might be.

Hell, I barely know anything about this damn guy.

Why do I feel something for him? I don't understand my heart.

Never have.

I have never played with love, I don't even know what love is..I stopped feeling love years ago. The time of my mothers death.

I can't recall love, I can no longer define it.
Defining it would be next to impossible for me.

Ludwig looks over at me, and we lock gazes accidentally. I stare into his eyes, wondering who this man truly is, because if my heart was going to come out of its cage for this man I needed to know who he truly was.

He clears his throat and looks over at my father, putting on a friendly smile.

"So...sir, um thank you for letting me stay here...the situation outside is quite insane....you know?"

My dad nods slowly and drinks some water, watching the Nazi closely. That night we all sat in awkward silence.

{Time skip}

I skipped outside and waved to my father, getting ready to go to the local farmers market.

Ludwig follows me outside and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Feliciano.....may I come with you?"

I nod nervously as I start walking to the farmers market, Ludwig beside me.

All of a sudden my face heats up and a blush appears on my cheeks as I look down, his hand locked into mine.

No..No.

This is wrong..we could both die for this.

I panic and pull my hand away, getting a weird look from Ludwig.

"Feli? Isn't that what you wanted?"

I stop walking and look down, trying to recall the time I said I wanted him to hold my hand and or want him to be around me, or be close to me.

Ludwig sighs.

"You mutter in your sleep."

I laugh nervously and start walking, faster than him and get in front of him. I didn't want him to know my secret growing passion, that's just embarrassing.

Minutes later a shop comes into view and I race to it, gathering the items I need then start walking back to the house quickly, wanting to avoid any conversation with him.

It's just embarrassing!

Why can't I keep this hidden? I don't want anyone to know... just have to keep my mouth shut...and try to stop thinking about him for awhile.

I walked home, keeping my mouth shut the whole way.

I was honestly pondering on what I should say to him, I mean now he knows I like him...and that's embarrassing.

I got home and opened the front door, stepping inside and making a loud creaking noise from stepping onto the old dusty floor boards.

My father walked into the main room and greeted me with a bright smile.

"Hello son!"

"Ciao father." I smiled softly and put the items onto the table.

Ludwig followed and got very close to me. Way to close for me to be comfortable.

I stepped away and he pulled me outside, going to a tree and sitting with me underneath it.

"Please. Listen to me." He whispered, looking into my eyes.