insouciant || ON HIATUS

ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝟝𝟟

"Please stop bullying my teammate," Mamoru sighed. He avoided Kageyama's surprised look. He probably didn't expect Mamoru to help him after last night's trauma. "He's genuinely asking for help."

Oikawa pursed his lips, unhappy Mamoru was taking Kageyama's side, but he could see why. He sighed and addressed Kageyama, "Well, what do you want? I'm busy, you know."

"You said your girlfriend dumped you, so you had a lot of free time," the kid piped up, confused.

"Takeru, shut up!"

Mamoru felt his chest tighten at a memory and he felt himself bristle with something like irritation. "You kissed me before because you were lonely?"

Miraculously, he'd figured it out.

Actually, Maiko told him.

There were hardly any secrets between them and so he told Maiko what had happened with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Having read more romance novels than him, Maiko went absolutely nuts and told him what it actually was.

"He kissed you?!"

"I didn't actually like her!"

Mamoru shook his head. That was a different issue for a different day (or no day at all)—Kageyama's issue took precedence. Kageyama was busy floundering around this new revelation, so he gave him a reminder. "Kageyama-kun, just ask."

"Uh, so, if you were close to a tournament, and, uh," He stopped to think before speaking up again. "Iwaizumi-san said he wanted to try some impossible attack-"

"Hey." Oikawa gave him an exasperated look. Mamoru kept his face flat, but when he saw Oikawa pose like that, his heart beat just a little faster.

Stop that, he wished he could talk to his heart. It was probably just arrhythmia. He should probably see a doctor about that. He could feel the back of his neck heat up dangerously as if it were trying to outdo the sun's warmth. Any more and he felt as though he would spontaneously combust.

"If you want to ask me something, quit with the lame 'what-if' story and ask me flat out." Oikawa tilted his head, unaware of Mamoru's internal self-diagnosis.

Kageyama gritted his teeth, brows pinched together like he'd swallowed a lemon. He didn't seem to want to speak willingly, so Mamoru sped things along.

"Hinata-kun wants to their quick with his own will even though he'd been closing his eyes before."

"Eh?" Oikawa straightened up, though his face didn't seem all too interested. "That'd be pretty impressive if he could do it. Why not let him do it?"

The question startled both Kageyama and Mamoru.

Why not let him do it?

If he applied the question to himself, why couldn't he do what he wanted? Why couldn't he just be himself? Was his current self his real self, or was that something long gone?

"Please don't make this sound so easy," Kageyama huffed. "Hinata doesn't have any technique!"

Oikawa's face twisted in a knowing smirk. "So you told him, 'just do as I say'? You sound like a dictator."

Mamoru wanted to wince for Kageyama, knowing that term was a sore spot for him; but at the same time, Kageyama did deserve it.

"Have you given it any thought? Are you giving the shrimp the exact tosses he wants?"

Kageyama didn't answer, but his angry/bitter face said it all.

"Have you even tried to?"

His head lowered.