The Limits of Love

Tug of War

Who would have thought it would take so long for me to get back to this story...you can thank the station 19 writers and their goal of running Surrera into the ground for sending my muse into hiatus. This was going to be one long update, but I've been stuck on the ending for months and figured I'd post the first 6500 words. Hope everyone is hanging in there – Reddixon

Head down and lost in thought, Andy barely registered, nearly colliding with Ben on her way out of the beanery. Her interaction with Robert on the roof hadn't gone anything like she was expecting and now she was at a loss of where to go from here. "Was she really out of options? Was it really too late?" She wondered to herself.

"Hey," Ben said as he and Andy almost bumped into each other.

"Warren. How are you?" Andy asked, trying to sound normal. Despite her best efforts, it was clear her mind was elsewhere.

"I'm good, but the better question is, how are you?" Ben asked with concerned eyes.

He hadn't talked with Andy one on one much these days. With her still at 23 and things with her and Robert where they were... things had felt different. He could see the younger woman had lost her way but also that she seemed to be turning the proverbial corner. He and Robert had talked a few times briefly and from what he knew Andy had apologized and was trying to make things right.

"Do I look that bad?" Andy joked dryly.

Ben offered her a gentle smile. "It looks like it's been a long day."

"How about a long year..." Andy replied quickly.

She shook her head realizing she didn't want to unload any of her problems onto Ben. No one had officially taken "sides" but she knew the friendship Robert and Ben had been developing before his surgery had grown stronger over the past year and didn't want to mess with that. She was actually grateful that he seemed to finally have people in his corner.

"Well, hopefully you're headed home to get some rest before shift tomorrow," Ben nodded a bit as he spoke.

"Yeah..." Andy nodded her head, but her reply was non-committal. The truth was, she hadn't had a good night's sleep in longer than she cared to remember.

"Have a good night," Ben replied as he began moving again towards the fridge.

"Warren," Andy questioned apprehensively as Ben turned back. "Is he...is he happy?"

Ben sighed long and deep, a bit unsure how to answer that question. He didn't want to hurt Andy, but also knew he owed her the truth. "He was pretty miserable for a long time... on the outs with most of the team, frustrated with still being just a firefighter after more than a year of heads down work... separated from you.... It was hard, but he's better now. I don't know if he's all the way there yet, but yeah...I think he's getting there."

With a dejected look in her eye, Andy nodded her head at Ben's words. It was the thing she was afraid to hear. He really was moving on and happy without her. "Thanks..."

"For what it's worth... he does love you." Ben added with a sympathetic look.

"I know he loves me." Andy sighed. "He just doesn't trust me anymore and I can't really blame him for that." Shaking her head lightly. "He made a mistake, but I broke us."

"I'm sorry..." Ben replied gently. He wasn't sure what else he could say.

Andy struggled to find her words. "Do I just let him go? Is that the right thing to do?" She shrugged her shoulders a bit in confusion. "Give up? Stop fighting?"

"I think only you can answer that, Andy." Ben said gently. "You have to do what you can live with."

Andy's only response was a small nod. "Goodnight, Warren." With that, Andy headed down the station stairs and out the front door. When she made it back to her place, she had a quick bite to eat. After pouring a glass of red wine, she ran a bath and slipped in. Her head was all over the place and she had to do something to try and make sense of things.