Amnesia

I'm begging you.

Axel's POV: 

I love the color red. It's so freeing, so deep, and just so, you. I see you in every splatter love. I see you in every handprint, and I see you in every single fucking bullet. 

"Stop! Please! I'm begging you!" The man yelled; his shirt torn into pieces showing gashes at his sides. I smile half-heartedly and let out a small chuckle. I walk to him at my normal pace, grabbing him by the little amount of shirt he had left. It was red, my favorite color. How could I let another man near you? 

"It's been six months. Six months since you left. Six months since you fucked me up, for the millionth time.  I let you, I let you destroy me. I let you, diminish, every ounce of good person left in me, and I enjoyed it. I fucking loved it. It sparked something in me love. It gave me a sense of worth. I became, Me. The real me, the me no one, other than you has been able to love, and cherish so deeply. It's been six, entire months." I say under my breath.  He looks at me as I pull him in closer to me, his eyes showing pure terror whilst looking at me. I can see his pupils dilating in pain, his sweat dripping down my arms. Do people really get that scared? That nervous? It's just the color red. What's so scary? What's so nerve-wracking that they sweat like this?  I want to feel that way when I see you too.  God, it's so infuriating to see people like this because of you, they're so wound up, so pumped full of adrenaline.

"You know, you're acting a lot like me right now."

The man said nothing, he just continued to stare at me with the same expression.

"Do you like the color red too?" I say slowly pulling the knife from his stomach.

"Look at them, they're so, gorgeous." I let go of him, trying to show him the knife. He falls to the ground, eyes empty, just staring into an abyss. He must've thought she was pretty too; I mean he wore my favorite color; I always see her smile within it.  

"Hey! Look!" I yell at the man. He doesn't move, not even an inch.

"You and all your friends suck at entertaining me when I ask you to do something."  I take a step towards him and the other bodies of his friends around him, then look at my hands. 

"'Oh, that wasn't sweat." I mumble to myself.  I smile and thank the man, he let me see you again. You're so pretty.

I put my jacket back on and take my gloves off, leaving the man in the dark alleyway. The stars are beaming down on me, almost humiliating me in what I've become. The light being so pure and innocent, almost as if it's yelling at me to become who I was brainwashed to be growing up.

I finally make it back to a wooded area, hiding from the innocence of the starlight. I can vaguely hear sirens from where I came from, it's kind of become a musical sound to me. I begin slightly tapping my fingers to the faint sounds of the ambulances. My eyelids begin to slightly get heavy, so i sink down onto the ground, relaxing my back onto a dead log. I laugh slightly and look into the sky, grabbing a small handful of dirt and leaves.

"You remember when we did this darling?" A tear slowly rolls down my cheek as my grip tightens and crushes the leaves in my hand. 

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I fucking hate you!" I yell into the darkness surrounding me. Who even am I? I sit here, questioning my identity, as if you didn't take it from me. You ripped every single moral from my mind, and trained me to hate everything surrounding  me, as if I didn't already. You magnified it.

My mind continued to race like this for hours until I finally drifted off to sleep.

I wake up to sweat dripping off my eyebrow and onto my cheek, as it normally does.

 It's not uncommon of me to go to a coffee shop in the mornings, so I followed my routine. I order my normal drink and sit in the same booth we used too. I stare at your chair, almost waiting for you to just appear, but you don't. I turn to look out of the window, only to see my reflection. Dark circles under my eyes, deep eyebags, my cheekbones slightly poking out, the dryness of my skin, only oily around my nose and forehead. I look like a wreck. My hair stringy and longer than it used to be. I sigh and look back down at my coffee, my phone buzzes showing the latest news report of my rampage from the night prior. I smirk and turn my phone over. 

"Is there anything else you may need today sir?" A young lady says, smiling at me sweetly. I shake my head, avoiding eye contact. She tilts her head slightly to the right and sits down, in your seat.

"Could you please get up. I didn't want you to sit down with me." I say in annoyance of this girl. She doesn't get up, but she smiles. This time I actually look at her. A small freckle on her left cheek, right where a dimple forms as she smiles. You had dimples like hers.

"Would you like some breakfast?" She asks nicely while pulling out her wallet.

"Oh, uhm, no. I'm fine." I say, declining her offer. She stops for a second, then continues to pull out a twenty. 

"I've got it. What would you like?" She asks again.

"No. I'm fine ma'am, really." I say again, shaking my head.

"Okay, so you're going to get the same thing as me." She says whilst quickly getting up and walking to the counter. What the hell? She's working for one, so she shouldn't be able to take this time, and two, she sat in your seat. I hate that. 

Seven minutes goes by, and she comes back with our food. She silently sits down and gives me my food and sets her own onto the table. 

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" I ask, she looks at me and giggles.

"I work every morning, and I always see you eat alone. I decided to take my break when you came in today so that I could eat with you. I hate seeing people lonely." She says genuinely. I look at her and ignore what she said. I look down at my food to see a sausage, egg, and cheese burrito Infront of me.  I unwrap it and decide to eat it. The young girl and I both sat quietly and ate our food, once she finished though, she began talking again.

"So, what's your name?" She asks.

"Axel." I respond, she giggles and points to her name tag. It read Sadie. I ignore her and continue to finish my breakfast. Finally, we both finish our food, and she cleans my table. 

"I'll see you tomorrow morning Axel." She says while walking away, half waving goodbye towards me.

"She was pretty. Not as pretty as you though," I thought to myself as I pulled up my sleeve to see the dried blood. 

Later that day, I was walking down the street and saw her. She was wearing normal clothing now, so I assume she finally got off of work. I glance at my watch so see that it's 5:30. So, she works a 9-5. Interesting. 

The days begin to merge together, night, day, night, day, night, day.  The only memory I saw, was her. Odd.

Writer's notes:  HEY GUYS! guess who's back.  but what do you guys think so far? do we lke the new girl being introduced?