Chapter Ten | Pathetic

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she is strong and smarter then you would think.

_____

When I say people called me Smart
They had to be joking right?

Just Huffing at myself for buying such a complex Manuel for a rocking chair.
I have been sitting on the floor for about an hour to try and put this chair together and some how I got the screws wrong and a piece that's on the wrong side.

" I hate this! I can't..nope I'm done for the day." Getting up was a another issue but I eventually got it.

Man was that a work out for me I thought wiping the sweat off of my head. Now to clean up the mess I made with the box's and cluttered baby stuff everywhere.

"Ren? Hun you here?" My mom voice out from the kitchen.

What's she doing here?
"Yes I'm just in the baby's room.
Cleaning up." I walk towards the kitchen with the garbage full of boxes.

Amazon box's tons of them actually.

"What are you doing here I thought you and dad are going on a trip?"
I stop to put the trash in the bin.
"We'll be going today actually I just wanted to let you know we're won't be back in the twos week. We are staying for a few months actually."

"Your dad wants to see some places there and see if we like it and even might move there! Isn't that exciting?"

Wait what now?

"Mom that's expensive and lots of work why not just stay here? It's home and close to me? How about if I need you? Or if the baby comes early? Or you fall ill and I can't come see you?"

"You should think it through.
your family is here? Aren't you happy?"
My eyes tear up just thinking that she will leave.
This has been our home for ages I don't even want to think of leaving this place to begin with.

" Well darling this isn't about you. Me and your dad want to explore and find something new. We only have so much time left and you know that right? We are happy and we made you to a beautiful woman today that's gone so far for her careers."
She comes to hold me as tears fall down my cheeks. Slowly sobbing my eye out for no reason?
They can do what ever they want too!

stop crying..Hormones man!

"You will be fine and we will come back darling. Before baby is here's
I'll say baby girl for Spirit!"
She hugs me tightly

"I'll b-e a-lone.." sobbing even harder then beforehand. " I don't even know what to do...he isn't even here mom. Why did this happen to me? I failed myself for what? A One Night Stand? Aren't I pathetic?"  I say emotions falling out. I sit on couch with her slowly to try to calm down. My hands shaking with the news.

" look at me Ren. You are not pathetic. Everyone one has needs and sometimes things happen for a reason Good or bad.
This wasn't a bad one. You are carrying a child who will love you soo much you with feel the same.
When you where born you scared me to death with you where blue from lack of oxygen because of the umbilical cord that was wrapped around you neck. But you where saved by nurse and doctors.

Before you where born I was sacred to be a mother. I didn't even know you were going to happen. And I sometimes wish I could have been better to use protection."

"Ew ma I don't need the full details " I say laughing

"Oh come on it's not like I was deep into it. Yet..." she laughs as my face showing the disgust expression.

"But as I was saying I don't regret having you. Because you made my life the best it could ever be. Even if I doubt myself.
I know in my heart you will love this child even if you're the only parent for them. " she hugs be as we slowly cry together.

"Thank you mama"
"No thank you sweetheart "

_____

we stop crying and got up to get something to eat after the talk we had.

I know for that I'll be alone. I don't want to be but I am. And I really can't do anything about it.

Yes you can chicken...

"Have you tried to call him or get in touch with him?" Mom says as stirs her tea.

"Yes... and no I'm just scared he's not going to want to step up and be a dad."

You did shut the door on his face when his was wanting to come in...

"Try calling him or even texting. Some men just need their space to finger out what they want. Just try and not to judge to early."

She right but I kinda already did.

____

After I said goodbye to my mom and dad after spending some time with them together today. Told her to call me when she lands from her flight with dad.

A couple hours later I was resting on my bed in shorts and a large T-shirt.
Thinking of what to do with the baby daddy issues.

Just call him! If he doesn't answer back then you can text out a whole paragraph about why he should help you out. And he's as much responsible as you are.

like literally we both fuck each other?
With out a condom it seems...

Okay I can do this I prep myself as I get my phone off the nightstand.

I got his number from the secretary from his business I assume. I thought kinda had to lie and say I was a friend he was with and he forgot his watch in the Hotel room. It seem like she believes it.   Well here's the time to see if that True.

I dial the number and hit call.

The ringing tones go on an on making be feel anxious . When I was about to hit end call a voice pick up.

"Hello? Who's this?" A deep manly voice says makings me have shivers down my body.

Hello Ren? Speak Damm it!

"Uh H-Hello... -this is umm.. I'm am wondering if there is a Xavier Lond's there? I would like to speak with him?"

Nice job Ren your doing great! Sarcastically I thought.

"He's not available at this time."
The voice say aging giving me chills and an odd sensation in my body.

Weird?

"W-what! No I need to speak with him it's urgent. " I Panicked not wanting them to end the Call so soon.

"Listen here girl he isn't a available at this moment so deal with it. " the man's voice hissed out.

Wait what?
He did not just hiss at me!

"Listen here MR I am agitated! You. will tell me where to get in contact with him Or so help be god I will hit you though this phone on that Big old bald head of yours!" I yelled out a breath.

You are so badass hormonal women Renlyn.

"Hello did you hear me! Where is he-"

"He is in jail and don't yell at me " the phone beeps telling me he hung up on me.

My baby daddy is a criminal..

______

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