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Pen Your Pride

Hi my name is Ella, Ella Young, I’m seventeen years old. I guess you could say I’m popular. I have long blonde  hair to my waist, bright blue eyes, I’m five foot four and I’m skinny. My boyfriends name is Niall, he is the singer in the famous boy band named one direction, he has blond perfect quiffed hair with loving blue eyes. When I first met him I fell in love. Whoever says that love at first sight isn’t true is obviously wrong. Niall asked me out on January 1st 2013, we have been together for 2 months now. He has always been there for me and he is a great boyfriend. But, I have been hiding one huge secret from him.

My mom died when I was only two years old. Her name was Ashley, she was only twenty three when she died. She had long blonde hair with blue eyes. And she was also pretty short too. I only have one picture of her. I honestly don’t know much about her at all. My dad hates talking about her.

My dad’s name is Devin, he has short brown hair with dark brown eyes. He is an alcoholic and sometimes when he gets mad he takes his anger out on me. I’m kind of scared to tell anyone because I don’t want them to think differently of me. It’s really embarrassing.

One day, my dad came home really drunk it was the day my mom died but ten years later. I was twelve years old at the time. When he walked inside he started screaming and I remember the exact words he said.

“Ella sweetheart, come down here I have something for you!” he said.

“daddy, what is it? My laptop?” I asked.

While walking down the stairs I saw him, he had a bottle of some sort of alcohol in his hand. I stopped, I was to to keep walking. So he started to walk towards me, he had some weird look on his face… I started to back up as he got closer to me and I turned to start running but he grabbed my arm and threw me down the stairs. He slowly walked down and as I started to get up he kicked me. I tried to get up again but he kicked me harder and just kept kicking. I tried with everything I had in me not to cry. This went on for about another ten minutes and he finally let me up to go back to my bedroom. I couldn’t sleep that night. My eye was black and I had bruises all over my body. The next couple of days I was from school. Until my eye got somewhat better I had to wear a lot of makeup and I wore long sleeves to cover my bruises. But honestly I just wanted to go to school and never come home. I didn’t want that to ever happen again.

that’s how it all started. Sometimes this would happen every other week and sometimes he would go months without touching me. I missed so much school one year that my dad had to go to court because of it.

Usually when it got really bad I would go to my best friend Dania’s house. Even though I’ve never actually told her what happens, I’, pretty sure she knows. She always gives me the best advice like keep your head up things will get better, and to always have hope no matter what. Dania is gorgeous. Her hair is long and brownish black color and she is really tall. And she looks like a model.

Ill be eighteen in three weeks and I will move out that exact day. I have a job and my own car. I guess I’ll be moving into an apartment by myself or with Niall. Niall has talked about moving in together before but I don’t know if he was being serious. Honestly, when I move the only two things I will take with me is my dog and my picture of my mom.

Tonight my dad went out and I’ve been shaking ever since he left. I know he will be home soon. I’m sitting up in my room with the door open… about an our later I see headlights in the driveway, he stumbles trying to get out of the car. He walked inside and grabbed me by my hair and busted the beer bottle he had on my head.

“you mean nothing to me! I hate you Ella.” he screamed.

“that’s it, I’m tired of putting up with you. I’m done!” I screamed back.

I grabbed my phone and dialed 911, as soon as he saw what I was doing he took my phone and threw it across the room. Then he ran into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife he could find. At that point, I didn’t know what to do. I was scared for my life. He came towards me and I grabbed his hand and tried taking the knife but he was to strong. He walked back then stabbed me in my leg.

I was terrified, I knew my phone broke when it came in contact with the wall he threw it at. I hope the cops came. My dad came closer to me with a creepy grin on his face I knew exactly what he was going to do. Rape me. that’s what he did to. I tried with all my might to get him off of me, nothing worked. I screamed in pain, as I never wanted this to happen. He was grunting and moaning, as for I was screaming and crying. I suddenly heard the sirens and I was saved. But, they didn’t stop the event that had just occurred, just as they put my dad in hand cuffs he said “I’ll get you little bitch, you’ll die soon.” I was terrified, who knew what he was capable of? I fell to the floor crying. I just wanted Niall or Dania.

I called up Niall and Dania. Niall came and picked me up from my house and Dania is on her way to Niall’s apartment, as are we. This is the day I will tell them the full truth of what has been going on in my life, I hope this goes well. I’m in the car with Niall, the tension is killing me. I speak to cover the awkwardness, “Niall, I have something very important to tell you, and when I do don’t get mad” I say “okay, so what are you waiting for? Tell me.” “I cant tell you just yet, I will when we get to your apartment I need to tell Dania what I’m telling you too” “okay” this made things even more awkward. I turned the radio up to settle some of it.

We arrived at Niall’s apartment, Dania already waiting outside. I was really scared, what if they didn’t take it well? What if Dania didn’t want to be friends anymore? What if Niall breaks up with me? I better knock on wood. As we all entered the apartment I stated to shake uncontrollably. I’m scared out of my mind of the possible events that might take place. We all sit on the couch, and I speak up….here goes nothing. “Guys, I have something really important to tell you….” I say “Go ahead love, we’re listening” Dania says kindly, I love how understanding she is. “Well, there’s something I’ve been hiding from you guys….Here goes nothing” I breath “My mother died when I was 2, every since then I’ve been abused by my dad, he’d come home drunk and just start beating me. An awful event happened today. He raped me, I never wanted this to happen. I called the police and they came right after he raped me. He got taken to jail, but not after he said he would find me and kill me. I’m sorry I never told you guys, I thought it would change my appearance and I’d be treated differently and I didn’t want that.” there it was I told them everything, it felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off my shoulder. Dania came up and hugged me, I flinched at her touch but I calmed immediately because she is my best friend. Niall on the other hand looks devastated, “ Niall, what’s wrong?” I ask “you never told me this, Ella for god sakes you could have been killed! Your so stupid” he spat angrily, “well I said I was sorry!” I said with anger flooding through my body. “that’s it, its over. Get out of my house” he said through gritted teeth. What the fuck just came out of his mouth? Tears poured out of my eyes as I ran out of his house, Dania close behind.

“Ella, are you okay?” Dania asked “No” I answered. I was now sitting at Dania’s house, crying my heart out. How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me! I guess I was wrong. A true boyfriend wouldn’t have done what he did. Just what I didn’t want to happened, happened. Why is my life so messed up?


       -LEAH :)

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