See Through

23 - You're Just Mitch

The next morning Scott woke up earlier than Mitch. He didn't move much, realizing Mitch was lying comfortably in Scott's arms. It didn't even phase Scott that it would look wrong to any outsider to see that Scott had a boyfriend but was sleeping in the same bed as his best friend. Scott didn't care in that moment. He considered it as a helping hand to his best friend to give him better dreams.

Scott turned his head and saw the familiar little black book on the table within reach. Maybe I can just take a quick peek at it. He looked at Mitch carefully and studied his facial expression. He was resting contently. Scott then looked at his bare chest, watching it rise and fall slowly. Mitch had to be sound asleep, so Scott took this opportunity while he had it. Scott strained as best as he could without disturbing Mitch and grabbed the book, flipping through the pages carefully and holding it with just a single hand. He flipped through and saw all of Mitch's cute doodles. Scott had to hold back laughter when he saw an entire page where Mitch had written the word "slay" in calligraphy, filling the entire page up with smaller written words within the big font. Slay, Scott thought. He bit his bottom lip and continued flipping through.

What caught his eye the most was a set of lyrics he saw halfway through. He looked at the title. See Through.

Scott's eyebrows lifted as he scanned through the beautifully written text. Scott always admired Mitch's inner thoughts. He wrote anything and everything in this little book. It was his outlet, and a perfect one at that. The lyrics to this song were expressing that Mitch didn't want to hide who he was inside. I can't afford to lose another second with you. Scott bit his lip and began to think. What scared him even more was seeing his name doodled on the page in the margins. This took Scott back. He was beyond confused. He knew Mitch had feelings for him. He knew that he was lying in the same bed cuddling the man who had feelings for him. He knew that he also had feelings for him. He knew that he was a scared little shit who was too afraid to act upon it because he didn't want to ruin their perfect friendship. He also knew that he had just gotten back with Alex. It wasn't time for regrets.

Scott saw that Mitch had written in some solfege notes and some chords for the first section which looked like a chorus. He smiled and ran his finger along the staff Mitch had written.

Scott absentmindedly grabbed his phone and took a picture of the lyrics. He'd read over them later again and maybe surprise Mitch. Wait, wouldn't that mean he'd know I know he had feelings for him? He would know that I know that he knows that I know that... Mitch mumbled softly, startling Scott. He quickly returned the book and locked his phone so Mitch wouldn't see what was going on.

"S-Scott?" Mitch spoke softly.

"Good morning." Scott smiled and gently hugged Mitch.

"When did you get home and in my bed?" He smiled.

"10:30-ish. You were passed out." Scott laughed. "I heard you making some scared noises, so I figured that you were about to have another nightmare. Since I'm your lucky charm, I figured I'd jump in and save the day."

"Thanks for saving me." Mitch smiled and hugged Scott tightly. "Sorry I don't have your pot of gold."

"It's okay. I'll check the other end of the rainbow."

"The other end of the rainbow is in Alex's bed." Mitch laughed. "How is he, anyway? What would he say if his boyfriend was caught sleeping with another man?"

"You're just Mitch. It's not a big deal." Scott laughed, thinking he had no affect on Mitch with his last words. Scott found every chance to screw up with Mitch.

Mitch bit his lip, letting those words sink in.You're just Mitch. It's not a big deal.

Mitch took it to heart. He wasn't a big deal. Scott was with Alex now and Esther promised that he wouldn't leave him. It's not a big deal because he's not a big deal. Mitch's feelings for Scott weren't a big deal. The fact that Scott was tending to Mitch and sleeping next to him in the same bed and holding Mitch close wasn't a big deal. He had to fight tears in that very moment, so the only thing Mitch could do was respond to Scott with a laugh.

"Yeah, it's no big deal." Mitch smiled and stretched. "We need to get out of bed." Normally Mitch would beg for Scott to linger for awhile. Today he didn't want that. He didn't want to be in the same bed anymore with this guy who said he wasn't a big deal. For the rest of the day during a band meeting and another last song discussion, those words stung in Mitch's mind.