The Story Of Soldiers

Chapter 29

"Alright. So, why did it make you so mad?" Diaz questioned. Colleen bit her lip, beginning to feel liquid drip from the spots where her nails dig into her skin.
"They had no fucking right to say that." Colleen is surprised to hear her own voice breaking.

"They don't know shit about me. Or what I've been through. My own mother fucking left me like a piece of trash on the side of the road. My dads were the only person I had. Then this shit happened and now I'm alone. Then they started saying how it 'wasn't that bad, so I said what I thought."

Diaz felt a sharp pang of sympathy again. In most of his decades of training new soldiers, he had never felt such an attachment as sympathy to a trainee.
That's how it should be. That's how it should stay. Diaz can't afford to be attached. Not after what happened last time he allowed his guard to slip.

Diaz sighed and allowed himself to soften just the tiniest bit.
"You're not alone," Diaz said, "You have your team. They may never replace your fathers, but things like this happen. You'll lose people you love and care about."

"I don't wanna!" Colleen practically wails, looking at the man with teary eyes.
Diaz hardens again.
"What you want does not matter to the organization, 576. The military trains you so you can protect humanity."

Colleen whimpered feebly, wiping an arm across her face as she sniffled.
"W...why? We're human too!" Colleen cried.
"You are," Diaz says as if to confirm this, "But sometimes we have to give up normal lives in order to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

"I don't want to!" Colleen yelled defiantly, "I just wanna be normal!"
Diaz's eyes flared with a mix of anger and something else.
"And you think I wanted to!? No one wants to, but they do anyways. We accept it and we learn to live with it."

"How do I do that? I want my dads back."
"Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why do you want your fathers back?"

Colleen picked at the skin on her hand, sapphire eyes cast downwards as she spoke.
"After my mother abandoned me, they were the only ones who cared for me and helped me. They were all I had and I lost them."

Diaz nodded. "I see. That's understandable, I have people like that that I miss too."
He paused, then continued.
"However, they're not all you have anymore. Now you have your team, and they'll be there for you."

"They weren't tonight," the red-head mumbled.
"They will be as long as you all get along," Diaz explained, "Respect your teammates and they will respect you. If you can all learn to care for one another, then you can rely on them. Depend on them and trust them."

"Trust them? How would I trust them? How would they trust me?" Colleen rapid-fires her questions at once.
Diaz took a breath in through his nose, opening his mouth again a moment later.

"You can trust them when you know they'll be there for you. If you were dying, and you know they would try their damned hardest to save you, that's trust. Trust goes both ways. The more of your trust you place in them, the more trust they will place in you."

After a deadly beat of silence, Diaz speaks once more.
"Do you trust them, 576?"
Colleen stills for a solid moment. Then she shakes her head slowly.
When it becomes clear Diaz wants a verbal response, she replies. "No, sir."

"Understandable." Diaz states, "I wouldn't blame you, especially not after tonight. However, you need to get over your past and focus on the present. This is for the universe's sake. You have a very important role to fill. Dismissed."

For the first time, Colleen doesn't argue. She doesn't protest. She just makes her way to the door.
"And send 889 in too."
"Yes sir."
Good. She's accepting it. She's getting used to it. She'll be a great soldier soon enough.