Chapter 15

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There were bruises on her palms

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There were bruises on her palms. Perfect, purple indents that so clearly reflected the rounded corners of two small rectangular pieces of steel. Her hands smelled like metal. Her lips tasted like salt.

And still, the river before her kept on flowing. Kept shifting through the spectrum of her blurred vision, swaying from that deep emerald green to glimmer in shards of gold as the sun caught it in that way she had watched too often over these past days. It was a little further upstream from the collection of huts that made up their new home, but still the same river. Kat had made sure to at least walk out of sight of Bucky's doorway before she allowed herself to crumble.

She hated this. She hated the thick, hot tears that refused to stop rolling down her cheeks. She hated the way it sounded when she sniffed back the ugly sounds that came when she tried to breathe out of her nose, she hated the way her gasping inhales sounded like choked sobs, even when she grit her teeth against them.

She was stronger than this, she had to be. She had to be-

"I suppose this means Sergeant Barnes has arrived?"

The low, practical voice behind her made Kat turn, her teeth clamping down on her lower lip to stop it trembling like a child's as Nobomi walked towards her from the small allotment that was laid along the rear of the huts, a basket of woven reeds balanced on her hip.

Reluctantly, Kat pried her stiff fingers away from where they clutched the dog tags hanging at her chest, feeling the pressure of where the chain had been digging into the back of her neck easing a little as she did so; "Am I that easy to read?"

She had tried to inject a little humour into her voice, but it fell flat in her raw throat as her host moved to sit by her side, a few feet back from the riverbank.

"I might have multiple degrees in the area of 'reading' people – but I don't need those to see that you have snot on your chin."

"Shit- gross- sorry." Kat grimaced as she hurriedly swept the sleeve of her cool linen shirt over her chin, feeling her ears colour a mortified shade of red that had little to do with the creeping sunburn.

"You're hurting, Katrina, you don't have to apologise for not being composed."

"I'm not-" She sighed, furiously scrubbing over her cheeks and shaking her head as she realised how ridiculous her denial sounded. "I mean... I shouldn't be. I..." Her voice sounded so hoarse, so infuriatingly underlining the fact that she was failing miserably at holding herself together. "I should be fine- he's back, he's here- I've waited a year for this and I shouldn't be like this..."

Nobomi shifted a little at her side, crossing her legs beneath her so that she was sat comfortably as Kat shook her head again, wrestling with the internal words she couldn't seem to put in the right order. She didn't say anything though, she simply watched, and waited for her to find those words.

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