Nicole

Chapter: 04

Nicole didn't expect a reply so soon but she couldn't deny that it made a pinch of hope rise in her heart, like holding newborn Rose in her arms did. She couldn't get rid of that feeling of loneliness though, and the more it stayed, the more it pressed down on her. It was like an emptiness in her heart, and she felt as if it was killing her slowly from the inside.

Nicole shook her head free from those thoughts and clicked on the reply that her father sent her with shaking hands.

Nicole,

I am not sure how you found me but I am more than glad that you contacted me. I have been wondering for years where you were or whether you still existed. I cannot tell you the details of what happened between me and your mother but I am truly sorry about it. I apologize on her behalf as well, if it kept you from having a normal life.

I would be delighted to talk to you in person, and I feel it's needed as well. It would be amazing if you could somehow arrange your way to Los Angeles, California. I believe it must be hard for you but I would be grateful if you could visit me. Please let me know the details about your arrival. If you are coming, that is. I will let you know where to meet me.

Regards,

Your father.

Her heart pounded against her chest. She shut her laptop and put it aside. She closed her eyes and put her head against the headboard of the bed.

Her head throbbed and she felt as if the world was spinning around her. Her heart ached and longed for her mother and the more she told it that that wasn't possible, the more it desired it.

She didn't know that it was possible for so many things to happen in just one day. People broke into her house, her mother died and she found out that she had a family. Her head hurt so bad like someone was smashing it with a hammer. She could feel her heartbeat and anxiety increase.

She needed someone to lean on desperately. Needed someone to help her relax and keep her from overthinking but that someone was a no one and the thought only made Nicole tenser.

She didn't realize when she started to breathe so heavily. Her chest rose and fell quickly with heavy breaths. She felt like she couldn't get enough oxygen into her lungs. Her breathing only got heavier and heavier and she put a hand on her chest in pain.

Her mother was dead. She was dead and Nicole would never see her again, never be able to feel her warmth. She had a family whom she never knew of. A family she always wanted and always had but she had her doubts about whether they would welcome her as politely as her father or not.

She thought of the men who broke in the previous morning. Who were those people and what could they possibly want so bad that they killed her?

It wasn't until the world started blurring and spinning around her that she realized she was having a panic attack. She thought of what her mother used to say whenever Nicole had a panic attack.

Deep breaths.

Nicole tried to control her breathing. She took deep breaths and massaged her temples. She tried to relax her mind and get her heart rate back to normal.

It's okay, she told herself. Everything is going to be okay.

She heard her mother's voice echo in her ears.

Stop thinking. Just breathe. Stop seeing. Breathe. Stop trying. Breathe.

Breathe.

Just breathe, Nicole.

It helped. She finally got her breathing under control but she felt exhausted. She knew she had to do one thing though before resting. Get the ticket to California.

She purchased it online and emailed her father about it. When that was taken care of, she opened her drawer and took out a painkiller. She had gained control of her panic attack but her head still throbbed. She plopped a pill in her mouth and drank water over it.

She put the laptop aside and lay down. She kept her head low and closed her eyes, focusing her hearing on the rain that was pounding against her bedroom window.

It was the sound of nature and the only sound that was welcome for Nicole. She truly loved the rain and she would go out and get drenched if she could. But she wasn't feeling up for it. If her mother had been alive, she would've gone out while her mother shouted for her to come back into the shelter but laughed at the same time.

Her mind would've wandered around buried thoughts if it wasn't so exhausted. She didn't know when her focus on the raindrops splattering against the window dropped and she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

___________________________________________

"I don't understand why we have to do this," Axel said as he watched his father rummaging through the closet of the room that was supposed to be Nicole's.

"She's your sister, Axel, that's why," his father told him for what felt like the twentieth time.

"How do you even know that it's her? It could be anyone else. I mean, there's gotta be someone who knows about what happened between you and mother," Axel said.

"There's no one who knows anything about it. Nicole herself didn't know it till now-"

"How do you know she's not lying?"

"Axel, will you stop making such a fuss out of this? Isabelle and Nathan don't seem to mind as much as you."

"Dad, Izzy always wanted a sister. How hard do you think it was for her to grow up with boys and not even a mother for a woman? And Nathan doesn't see what I do because he doesn't mind having another sibling-"

"And you do?" His father inquired. Axel sighed.

"Why do you trust her?"

Christopher had had enough. He turned to face his son, looking at him intently. "Because I wasn't four the last time I saw her."

"But-"

"Axel, that's enough. You can see for yourself if you don't believe me," Axel's father said before he stalked out of the room.

He sighed. The room was perfectly clean now. Perfectly clean for a stranger. A girl who didn't even exist a day ago. Axel didn't know why his father was so freaked out about this. Anyone could've sent that email and even if it was her, she could've been lying. Axel was sure though that it wasn't her because he didn't remember having a sister other than Isabelle. Her name rang the faintest bell in his mind but that was it. He didn't remember anything else.

"Axel, we're leaving, come on!" Isabelle's voice brought him out of his thoughts. He sighed and went downstairs to join the others.