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Track 12: Amnesia

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Calum slowly raised his head to meet me in the eyes, making me see once more how hurt he is by the way he looked at me. I looked back at him with a look of pain too, wanting him to realize that I am always here for him, no matter what happens.

"I'm leaving." He stated without even having any doubts. "I'm leaving this hell."

Before I could even protest on what he just came up with, I didn't know what took over me but I just started crying even harder, making me fall into my knees and just sob on the ground. I probably look very unpleasant, but I couldn't even care about anything at the world as of the moment.

Calum immediately moved towards me to come and pick me up, putting me on the chair he was sitting just a few seconds ago to try and put me back into my senses. I can't stop myself from shaking, my throat feeling dry from crying too much. He looked at me again, our eyes meeting once more. I kept sobbing that I wanted to let out a scream. I know I was already being manipulated by the sudden panic attack that came over through me, but I somehow knew by then that I could control this and make it stop as some point. But right now, at this point, I couldn't. I couldn't seem to fight the feeling, that I keep letting out sobs and my hands won't stop shaking, and my lips are trembling so bad. Calum suddenly put both of his hands on my face to cup my cheeks, and before I could figure out what is about to happen, he quickly connected his lips on my trembling ones, making slow and full of care movements that somehow soothed my entire panicking system.

I wasn't expecting this to come off any time sooner, or even possible to happen. I have always thought that Calum probably only sees me as his only best friend, his sister that is always here to save him from whatever was trying to hurt him. Of course, I have always liked him. I love him. But never even just for a second had I thought that he would like me back. But here, right at this moment, with his lips in contact with mine, I could feel nothing but pure affection, care and love that I have always felt towards him, and now being given to me in return.

He slowly pulled away from me, his hands holding my shaking pair while his thumb caresses it slowly. He rested his forehead against mine after kissing me on the nose, his warm breath tickling my cheeks. I pulled away from his touch and pressed my hands against his cheeks, his face moving to feel my touch. I pulled him closer again for a hug, leaving no space to ever come between us.

"Come with me, Lou." He whispered to my ears, his fingers tracing circles around my back. "Let's runaway and leave this place."

A lot of things started running around my head. Responsibilities, my family, my parents, myself. I have always been the person to care so much about the people around me, even if those people tend not to care about me back. I'm 18 and I'm not getting any younger anymore, and I know bigger and larger responsibilities are on its way to my life. But, what about this? The only man I love, the person I truly care about, is pleading me to come with him and run away from everything in here. I don't want to turn my back to my life here, but I couldn't say no to this.

He is my life.

And for the first time, being one of the most indecisive person to ever walk on earth, I pulled away from Calum to give him another kiss that I have always wanted to do, and smiled at him.

"I would love to."


I waited just a few walks away from Calum's apartment, carrying enough suitcases that fitted all the things I need. I'm not sure where are we going, in fact I don't have any idea at all, but I'm sure that my decision will never change anymore and in a few minutes we would both leave this apartment that we both grew up on. I rested my back against the wall on the hallway, trying to keep myself hidden as much as I could while waiting for Calum to finally come out of his apartment. My foot won't stop tapping the floor and I couldn't help but bite my nails for the sudden attack of nervousness going through my body. I started coming up with new ideas to try and check if Calum is about to come out, because it's already getting way too late and we couldn't do this the next day morning anymore. I left my stuff on the side, and it wasn't too long until I heard a gunshot coming straight off from Calum's apartment.

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