Have you ever wondered what could have been?
She's ready to end it all, say her final goodbye, escape the cruelness of the world.
A nearby voice stops her and has her questioning her decision.
'What if he became my friend? What if he became more? Wh...
I just rolled my eyes and looked back in front of me to make sure I didn't trip down the stairs in these heels, cause with my luck, I would. Louis was standing halfway down the staircase, lowering his phone from in front of his face and smiling at me before continuing his descent and I continued mine.
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The three of us made it out back to the small patio behind the home where Louis had Dani and Julie both (because angles, duh) take some photos of himself doing about a million different poses before he was harassing me to take some with him.
Well, of course he wasn't actually harassing me, just yelling at me.
Julie and Dani stand on the patio watching the interaction, the pair also being dressed nicely to attend the ceremony. Dani's got her phone camera open, waiting to snap the photo and I can hear her shouting my name as well, telling me to just smile and take the damn photo.
Louis cleans up really well. He looks so nice in his simple black dress pants and white collared shirt with a skinny black tie going down his chest. He was just made to be put in front of a camera for all to see. And I'm sure that the million and one photos he just had taken are gonna be all over his Instagram by tonight. I'd just prefer not to be in any of them.
It's not like I go on Instagram much anyways, or really any social media for that matter, aside from Twitter. I have to admit I do spend a lot of my time on that stupid fucking app just watching stupid videos and following some update accounts that follow shows and singers that I like. But there's just something about me not wanting to use Instagram or have my face plastered all over it that I don't like. It's like people can see me and perceive me online, thinking that seeing a photo of me clues them in as to what I'm like, and then still act like I don't exist when they see me in person. All the people I used to be friends with could see me and make comments about me. How I look, what I'm wearing, who's in the photo with me, who's profile it's on, and I'd never even know what they'd be saying since I'm not on the app. It's stupid, but it's how I feel.
I totally could solve this internal battle by just downloading it and force myself to be active again, but if there's one thing I've learned about myself over the past three years is that the internet can be so fucking hurtful, and I already hurt myself enough. I don't need to see what other people may or may not say to add on to that.
"Macey seriously, just one picture. I need one with you! We're graduating high school! This is huge for us!" Louis takes a step closer to me, placing his arm on my shoulder to lean down so he could whisper in my ear quietly enough so Julie and Dani can't hear. "Love, neither of us thought we were gonna make it to graduation. I didn't even think I was going to make it to freshman year. This really is so huge. We made it. We should be proud, I know I am. So, c'mon. Just one picture with me, please?"
And at that, I can physically feel my heart constrict in my chest. He's right and I know it. I sure as hell didn't plan on being here for this. And to know that I am, and that I'm genuinely happy to be living my life, that's huge. And to know Louis' here and happy as well. Yeah, that's a pretty huge accomplishment, I'm proud of him. And I'm glad he's proud of himself. I know how hard he worked to get to where he is, and now that hard work is going to pay off.
