The Blazing Rebellion

Chapter 22

Sera POV

Sera stared at John as Blyke left the room, refusing to take her dark blue eyes off of him. He wouldn't meet them. It was obvious to her now that something was wrong... those rumors had been more than rumors. Although she could've passed it off as John simply being sick, Sera could tell that there was more to it than just that.

It had hurt to see him so pale and shaky when he'd finally answered the door. He'd looked like he was suffering so much, and Sera had wanted to help... John didn't seem willing to let her, however. He'd told her to leave without much conviction, but he hadn't told her anything else. He definitely hadn't collapsed into her arms and started spilling all of his secrets.

Sera had noticed the way that he'd hardened when he saw Blyke, too, something that definitely wouldn't help. It was why she'd sent Blyke away. John still didn't get along with him, and if getting him to talk to her was already this hard, having something to make John even more reluctant wouldn't help.

The door shut behind Blyke. John glanced up at it, meeting Sera's eyes for a brief moment. He then lowered them again. Sera thought she saw something like guilt flash across his amber eyes before he was looking away again. She frowned. What does he have to be guilty about? He hasn't done anything bad.

She thought back to her theories of what had happened. If she'd been right and Keon had visited, then maybe this guilt made sense. The other man was sure to have reminded him of bad memories, not good ones. John had hurt Sera several times, and John knew it... he'd called himself a monster for all of the times he'd hurt others in the past. She hoped he wasn't feeling that way now.

A sinking feeling in her chest told her that he most likely was, though. Her distance after their argument hadn't helped either... Sera winced. I should've been there for him more than this. She sighed. Well, I guess it's better to check on him late than never.

"John," She began. He was still avoiding her eyes. "Are you okay?" At the last words, her voice took a softer tone. John heard the difference, finally raising his head. His eyes filled with confusion first, followed by what appeared to be a mix of emotions. He blinked and cleared his throat.

"I'm fine. Just go away," He told her, his voice rough. She could tell that he was still hiding things. She wasn't going to leave that easily.

"No, you aren't. Why weren't you at school?" She asked next, determined to get him to tell her. It would be easier for him to confess than for her to make guesses.

"I wasn't feeling well." He went back to avoiding her eyes. This time, however, there was defiance in his voice. He wanted her to leave. It stung, but Sera forced herself to continue.

"What was that call to the office about? Was someone visiting you?" Sera watched him carefully. John flinched at the mention, although he frowned like he had no idea what she was talking about.

"That's not your problem," He told her. Sera sighed.

"We're friends, John. It is my problem."

"Then why wouldn't you tell me what was going on with you?" She could hear hurt in his voice. It hurt her, too, not to be able to tell him. It's awful to see him like this. He's hiding so much from me, and it's not good for him to keep all these feelings inside... She sighed. Sera was going to have to just go with her guesses to try and get him to talk.

"John. Did Keon visit?" She asked. At the mention of the name Keon, John flinched. He looked up at her, his cover gone and fear in his eyes. She could see that his hands had started shaking.

"H-how did you know that?" John stammered, stepping away from her. Sera sighed.

"I guessed. The only times I've seen you so shaken have had to do with him..." She paused. "Does he want you to do more readjustment classes?"

John flinched again, confirming Sera's suspicions. She stepped towards him. John was avoiding her eyes once more, his breath coming out in panicked gasps. She reached out a hand to comfort him. "Hey. I won't let him take you-"

"YOU CAN'T STOP HIM!" John yelled, whirling towards Sera. Her eyes widened in surprise. The John in front of her reminded her of how he'd been in their argument about Joker, terrified of her finding out his secret and becoming violent. She stared at him, unsure of what to do. This was the John she didn't really know. This was the boy she couldn't talk to.

Recognition dawned in John's eyes at the expression on Sera's face. He turned away from her. She could still see his hands shaking.

"John-" She began. He cut her off.

"Just go away, Sera. Please. I can't... I can't deal with this right now," John told her, desperation in his voice. He'd wrapped his arms around himself as if trying to contain his emotions. She could see that he was hurting, but she was only making it worse... he didn't want to talk to her. He didn't seem to want to talk to anyone.

Although it hurt, Sera forced herself to step away instead of reaching out to comfort him.

"Okay. If you need me, you know how to find me," She told him softly. She hated doing this, leaving him when he was obviously suffering, but Sera didn't know what else to do. He was pushing her away, and she couldn't stop it.

Sera wished she'd done something earlier, that she'd found some way to tell him about Spectre without getting him in danger, but there hadn't been another option. Now, there was no choice either.

Sera turned and left John alone in the room, hoping that he would be okay... and that maybe he would change his mind and come talk to her.