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“Harry why aren’t you fucking focusing.” I try to focus but all I can think about is that Louis isn’t here when he is supposed to be, he is supposed to be here with me.

“Is this about that boy? Get over your little boy toy now Harry, you got work to do.” I turn to Tristan’s with angry eyes, who does he think he is? He is not allowed to call Louis my boy toy because Louis is so much more than just that!! He isn’t my fucking boy toy.

“Say that one more time and I will punch your face so many times that people won’t know who you are.” I say and turn back to the fashion show, I know that I am going up in a few, but all I can think about is that Louis isn’t out there watching me walk down the catwalk. I just need Louis here.

“Don’t talk to me like that Kid” Tristan say and I look at him.

“Then don’t talk like that about Louis.” I just say coldly back. I have a little bit less than a year until I can walk away from Tristan. My contract ends in 8 months and then I won’t sign it again.

“I can talk about him as much as I want. You work for me Harry.”

“Yeah for 8 more months than I’m out.”

I never expected him to turn white by my words but he does… He looks so scared by my words… Well I am his biggest reason for money and if I leave he needs to work his ass off to get any model as big as me. I probably just sign with someone else and then do it on my conditions.

“Harry I think we should take it a little easy about that one, we have been through so much together are you really willing to give that up?” He asks and I look at him before I walk up down the catwalk. The people smile and a lot take pictures and I don’t really like how the front seat says reserved for Tomlinson… I don’t like how that seat is empty because there is where Louis should be. He should be here with me… not in London.

I know Niall is in London now because I asked him and bought his ticket, but I just kind of wish that I was there with them, or that they were here with me.

Just 8 more months.



“Are you sure about this?” I ask Niall and Niall nod.

“What if he thinks I’m stupid?” I ask and Niall just laugh at me. I am really nervous because this feels like a stupid idea but Niall says it’s a great idea. I trust Niall but you know this feels kind of stupid.

“It’s a love letter Louis he won’t think it is stupid.” Niall says and gives me a smile that tells me to trust him… no Niall no… I know it’s a love letter but this is something you did when you were 12 and had a crush on a girl in your class.. Not something you do when you’re 22 and in love with a model who is on the other side of the world.

“How will I even know he will get it?” I ask and Niall smiles and tells me that it’s just to ask him for the hotels address and that Niall knows that it works because Niall send me a letter like that when I was in USA a while ago.

I know it will work it’s just that I don’t want Harry to think that I am stupid because I really like him.

I don’t know how but Niall did make me sit down and write a letter to Harry, so here I am writing a love letter to Harry because I feel like I can do this. I can do this because he is my boyfriend and I am supposed to be cute and fluffy.


Dear cute asshole!


I am nice by calling you cute asshole because I was going to call you rude dick but this is supposed to be a cute little love letter to you… so I decided against it.

I miss you… that is pretty much it. I miss you so damn much Harry, I miss your smile, I miss your eyes, I miss the way you say my name because it’s not the same as when you say it on the phone, I miss your smell, I miss your hugs, I miss your cuddles, I miss your stupid jokes that’s only funny when you say them, I miss you. I miss everything about you.

I’m not good at stuff like this and I was planning on go on and on about reasons why you are the most beautiful human ever, but I won’t because that would be weird because that is not something I’m used to writing. So instead of doing that I will tell you about my favourite moments with you, because those moments is the best just read them and you’ll know why.

My absolute favourite moment with you was the first time we met because you were so nice to me.  You took that picture with me and I almost thought I would start crying which would have been so embarrassing. Let’s just say that you where adorable the first time I met you and I send you the picture in here because it’s much cooler to have it as a picture than just have it on your phone.

Another one of my favourite moments with you is the first time we kissed. We were both so fucking wasted but that was probably the best kiss I ever had. I felt so many feelings when your lips met mine. I didn’t even think that much about the taste of alcohol on your lips.

Then the last one I will remind you about is that time you held me at the café like nothing. I loved that time because it felt like you didn’t care about who saw us and that meant a lot to me that you didn’t care who saw us together. I liked that a lot.

Now I’m not going to go on until the worst moments but just leave it with that the worst moments is saying goodbye and knowing that I can’t walk over to you and just cuddle up with you at night.

Oh that is another thing I miss!!! I miss being able to come over to you in the middle of the night because I can’t fall asleep and just knock on your door for you to let me in without saying a word. I miss how you just open up and let me walk in and lay down in your bed. Like it doesn’t matter like you know that I just want to be there with you. I just want to wake up with you beside me. I love waking up beside me because I love seeing your face the first thing I see in the morning.

I love how you lay down beside me and cuddle up to me and how we sometimes just fall asleep together and how we sometimes stay up for hours talking about stuff, just talking about everything and nothing. I like how I can be myself around you.


I don’t know how I will end this letter so I guess… I see you soon and I miss you…


Louis xx


Double update be happy.

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