"That's great Ray! Give me your best 'i want to bash your face in' look," I say holding my camera up to my face. Ray responds and gives me his best mean face. I try not to laugh at how unmenacing he looks. At least he takes the directions that I give him and tries his best.
"Was that better," Ray asks embarrassed. I lower my camera and flash him a smile.
"No Ray that was really good remember this is for I'm Not ok promo so....don't look ok," I say.
"No shit...this bitch acts like she knows everything. It's not like she wrote the fucking words," Gerard says smoking off to the side. I lower my camera and look toward the ceiling.
Keep your cool Y/n. He pays you. You work for him. Don't...
"No Gerard I didn't write the lyrics. But I take, edit, and film everything for these fucking things. So if you would like your fans and the whole world to not think you guys look like idiots. Let me do my job and I will leave you to do yours," I say....in my head. I don't have the guts to say that to him actually. Like I said he is my boss.
"Gerard. Just let me do my job I have a deadline for Kerrang!" I actually say.
"OH! Oh my...you have..a DEADLINE! EVERYBODY! COME HERE! All hands on deck! Sugar over here has a fucking deadline! We need to be on our best behavior to make sure nothing goes wrong! Heaven forbids she actually works and doesn't just piggyback off of our success," Gerard says walking over onto the set more.
I feel a wave of embarrassment flush over my face and I lower my camera playing with a part of it trying to make eye contact with Gerard.
"Give it a rest man! Y/n is right We need these to go out before we shoot the music video next week. So they have to be into Kerrang! in two days," Mikey says walking over. I look over to Ray who was looking at me already. He mouths 'i'm sorry' to me and I just send a reassuring smile.
"Oh, the white knight steps in once again! Always sticking up for your little pet," Gerard says stepping up to Mikey pushing his shoulders.
"Enough! Can we please just finish this," Ray says. Gerard and Mikey look over at Ray and then back to each other. Whenever Ray gets annoyed or steps in situations normally fizzle out quickly.
"I'll be in my trailer...Frank come find me whenever Sugar over here figures out how to point and shoot that camera," Gerard says and walks off.
I swallow my embarrassment and hurt and try to focus back on taking these pictures. Gerard has berated me ever since I have met him but over the past few months leading up to the release of their second album things have gotten significantly worse.
"I'm sorry Y/n. He-," Mikey starts but I just put my hand up.
"Save it Mikey. I know I'm the scum under his fucking shoe and he is the big superstar. I just want to get these shots and then go edit," I say. Mikey always tries to make excuses for his actions and be on my side but right now I can't focus on that.
I finish up on Ray and I have Frank go next. Frank on his own when Gerard isn't here isn't too bad. I am not the closest with him but he doesn't come to console or defend me when Gerard puts his two cents into things. Frank and Gerard have been butt buddies for as long as I can remember and I don't think that will ever change.
"Ok Frank show me what you got," I say and lift my camera up.
"Oh I can honey but not with all these people watching. Unless that is what you are into," Frank says sending a wink. I lower my camera and flip him off gaining a chuckle from all the boys and we continue with the shoot. Honestly, if it was just the three of them in the band I would probably be in love with this job.
