The Citizen Soldier (DNF)

25) Arms Tonite

*Clay POV*

As far as disturbing dreams went, that one had to take the cake.

I did my very best to dislodge the memory from my brain, but I might as well have tried to kill a dead squirrel again. It was no use.

At least the dream would fade with time... right?

Who was I kidding?

It would probably never go away.

My heart was jumpy and I got up to walk around my room again, internalizing everything. The first thing that I looked at was the lamp that had supposedly died, and when I went to turn it on, it worked fine, you know, like a lamp. That was a source of comfort as well as a source of light. I turned to the night desk under it and noticed a drawer.

When I bent over to open it, I noticed a lock on the front and hoped that it would be unlocked, which it fortunately was. I smiled at the stack of neat, fresh paper, the normal ballpoint pens, pencils, colored pencils, artist's pencils, and I could even see a calligraphy quill in there with an ink bottle beside it.

I thought that it was nice to have. 

Taking out about ten sheets of fresh paper, I started to get to work with writing things down. A poem? A song? What did it matter, it was a distraction. I started by writing down the one that I'd made after George saved me the first time. When I was done with that one in my own sloppy handwriting, I started on a new one by whistling a little and seeing what I could come up with.

I fell in your arms tonight
I fell hard in your arms tonight
It was nice

I died in your arms tonight
I slipped through into the afterlife
It was nice

White light in your arms tonight
I lost sight in your arms tonight
It was nice

And hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute
That I died right inside your arms tonight
That I'm fine even after I have died
Because it was in your arms I died

I cry in the afterlife
I cry hard because I have died
And you're alive

I try to escape afterlife
I try hard to get back inside
Your arms alive

And hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute
That I try to escape the afterlife
That I try to get back in your arms alive
That I died in your arms

I fell hard in your arms
I went and died in your arms that night

I fell in your arms tonight
Suicide in your arms

And hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute 
That I died right inside your arms tonight
That I'm fine even after I have died|
That I try to escape the afterlife
That I try to get back in your arms alive
That I died in your arms

I fell in your arms tonight
I died in your arms tonight
White light in your arms tonight
I fell in your arms tonight

Trigger Warning: Derealization and Hallucinations

Well, it was a song, but it was certainly at least a bit concerning. Either way, it made for a somewhat healing experience after my nightmare at the same time as describing what it was like for me when I woke up. I shook my head and just reread the song, then set it out to dry. I drew the curtains and made the mistake of looking down at the floor. I felt the uncanny feeling of going up in an elevator way too fast as the ground stretched far below me.