My heart tugged as I held the puny bundle in my arms. It amazed me the innocence he possessed, the innocence that seeped from him to me, despite the inevitable fact that he is half me. Half evil. Half demon. Maybe his mothers genetics will overpower mine. Hopefully.
My son, Renier, was born just a few hours ago, just a few weeks premature. He's small, compared to the few babies I have seen, but not so that is deadly, according to Kaylie, the midwife we cautiously chose. Danika and I just need to take a few precautions to ensure he grows healthily. As if sensing my wandering thoughts Renier squirms slightly in my arms and I look down.
How could I create something as beautiful as the baby in my arms. Most of it has to be my wife, Danika's, part. She's the artist, not I.
Renier slightly opens his eyes to peer up at my looming form, though not much. He squints tightly to prevent light from attacking his eyes. He has not yet adjusted to the drastic move from Danika's dark, protected womb in which he used to reside to the bright world.
I sigh as I stare do tentavely at the figure bundled in my arms that has infatuated me since he entered this world, hoping I'll be the father Danika expects. The father Renier expects. The caring, loving, and available father I expect myself to be.
I watch Reye's as he stares into the face of our son. The expression on his face reveals his emotional vulnerability. Bringing Renier into this world was physically and mentally exhausting, but that doesn't compare to the turmoil Reyes has been enduring these last seven months- ever since I realized I was pregnant.
Once my pregnancy was known he began questioning his abilities as a husband and father. Could he do this? Despite my constant reassurances he didn't believe he was capable. Would he hurt our child? Would our child hurt me? What would happen if...? What if...? Would he...? During my pregnancy those questions dictated his thoughts and actions. Only at the beginning of my pregnancy did he voice his concerns to me but I know every time those gut wrenching questions have once again haunted him. His face suddenly pales, eyebrows furrow, forehead creases, and he frowns, despite his delectable immortal battle hardened body he looks older because bags have begun to form under his eyes. Like he's in another consciousness consumed by his own insecurities.
And even now, as he's holding his son, those questions are swirling inside his head.
I turn to my side, as the post-birth ache flares back into life, tearing my relaxation to shreds. I let out a silent whimper as I wiggle into my anticipated position.
As if my my pained tone was an emergency alarm Reyes head shoots up. I half force a reassuring smile. Only half because the substantial pain hasn't subsided, but I'm truly happy. "Hi," I said, unintentially wincing as I continue to squirm into my desired position.
Immediately Reye's protective nature flares. "Are you okay? What's wrong? Are you hurting?"
I can't help but let a grin crack across my face. The man holding my child always give me the comforting sensation of security. "I'm fine. How about you? Are you okay?"
Relief washes his nervous stature, but only momentarily, before he sinks back into his deepest, most protected, thoughts. I doubt he will answer,but before I decide to leave the topic alone he replies, "No..." I don't respond, allowing him and myself to collect my thoughts. As if under the impression his answer disappoints me, Reyes instantly 'corrects himslef.' "Yes, I mean... I mean... I don't know," he whispers in defeat.
"What do you mean?" I questioned in my most sympathetic and caring voice I could conjure.
Then Reyes's, after a brief period of looking at Reniers closed eyes, focus shifted to me. "I just... don't know. I mean, it's great that we have a kid. And I can't wait to watch him age, but I don't know about, well, me."
I nod, urging further explanation.
"Well, I just don't want to hurt him. Or get him hurt because of the world we are bringing him into. Some of the dangers he could face. Also, I don't know what he will be, exactly. I don't want to watch him struggle with taming an uncontrollable side of himself. Or him being broke by that darker half."
I reach out and caress his knee, hoping to ease his onslaught of doubt, knowing Pain- his demon- is running wild in the back of Reyes head, tempting to mutilate himself further, and that Reyes doesn't want to put Renier down long enough to harm himself, even if it resulted in satisfaction, which it will. Self mutilation-or pain in general, of himself or others- had always been Reyes source of pleasure, and the tamer if Pain.
"We don't know how Renier will turn out. He might be perfectly normal. But either way we will love him, support him, and protect him. And I dare anyone to touch my baby and expect to live afterwards. "
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Born Of Pain (A Lords of the Underworld FanFiction)Fanfiction
This is the story of Renier Lord, the son of Reyes, keeper of the demon Pain, and Danika Ford, the All-Seeing Eye. Renier doesn't have a normal childhood- never has- but the rise of a new wave of Hunters whose made it their mission to destroy his f...