"What I wanted was for you to fight for me!" I raised my voice in frustration that he never understood that's what I really wanted, maybe I didn't say it but I had hoped he would figure that out. The tears welled in my eyes as they locked with Sam's, "I wanted you to say that none of that other stuff mattered if you didn't have me."
A deep sigh escaped from him as he stood across from me, his shoulders slumping as we both stood in the regrets we carried from the past. The air around us fell silent; my heart was beating so hard in my chest that I wondered if Sam could hear it. This was something we had never done; we had never discussed how we both really felt about where things ended with us.
"There's something you need to know..." Sam's voice cracked and I could've sworn he was fighting back tears. Sam Lowry Hunt crying? That would've been a first and it didn't take long for me to figure out that whatever he was about to say was something that really bothered him.
"I swear to God Sam if you tell me that you cheated on me when you got to college..." I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind and regretted it as quickly as I said it. I knew Sam better than that, or at least I hope I did.
"I need you to know that I called to find out how you were holding up, every day...." He scoffed at the words that left his mouth, or maybe it was the thoughts that were accompanying them. I tried to understand what it was he was attempting to tell me, "I knew you didn't want to talk to me and as much as it killed me, I just wanted you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted Holly, I hope you know that..."
"I do." I nodded slowly, and it was the truth. I did know that my happiness mattered to him. What I was most curious about was who he called to find out about me. Was it Macy? It couldn't have been Macy, she would've told me, right?
"Holly..." I loved the way my name sounded wrapped in his gruff voice, it always commanded my full attention, "When we split, I called Kyle damn near every day and asked him to check on you. Asked him how you were doing, how you were holding up, if you were happy... I confided in him because I thought we were boys... that was my best friend."
"No... no, you're lying." I took two steps away from him, not wanting to believe what he was telling me. It couldn't be true. Kyle was a jerk at times but there was no way he was a monster, he couldn't have done that to me. All the times I asked him if he heard from Sam, he lied to me. My heart dropped faster than a lead balloon and I thought I was going to be sick as I wrapped my arm around my stomach.
"Have I ever lied to you?" He had a point, he had never lied to me and I was sure he wasn't going to start now. It was so clear that he was hurting and now I was beginning to understand where all the tension between Sam and Kyle derived from. There was so much that I didn't know, so much that Kyle had failed to tell me after all of this time.
"I-I don't understand... he told me he never heard from you again." I was beyond confused at this point; if Sam wasn't lying to me it only meant that Kyle was, "Why would he do that?"
I didn't want to believe that Kyle took advantage of me in my weak condition; I didn't want to believe that he had ulterior motives and that he wasn't genuinely consoling me. How could he do that to me? How could he do that to Sam? He was supposed to be his best friend and Sam would've done anything for him and he did. All the times Kyle had trouble with his father in high school, all the drunken nights he couldn't drive home and when he needed help cramming for a test that his high school football career depended on... Sam was there for him. Sam was always there for him and when he needed Kyle to be there for him, this was how he repaid him?
"I thought you forgot about me.... I thought you just moved on with your life and you weren't ever coming back..." The tears fell freely from my eyes and it wasn't long before I was a sobbing mess. At this point, I felt like I was as much of a monster as Kyle. I never meant to betray Sam that way, I never wanted to hurt him but I thought he had forgotten about me. According to Kyle, he had anyway, "I didn't know."
Sam walked towards me and pulled me into his arms. I knew how much he hated to see me cry, he used to remind me of that all of the time. He enveloped me in his arms and my nostrils were met by his intoxicating scent as I buried my face into his chest, his t-shirt quickly falling victim to the salty tears that escaped me.
"I didn't know..." I looked up at him from where I stood repeating the words that I needed him to understand the most. He held my face in his large hands, their warmth sending a spark through me and I knew he wished to comfort me.
"I know." He nodded in understanding and I felt relieved. His brown eyes had a softness about them and it was nearly enough to make me melt beneath his gaze; they held a passion that I had really missed over the years.
His thumbs moved across my cheeks in a swift motion taking the stray tears that stained my skin with them. His forehead landed on mine and he softly rubbed our noses together the way I always used to, Eskimo kisses at their finest. I took a deep breath as I tried maintaining my composure. I had never longed for him more than I was longing for him in this very moment. It had been ages since I had been so close to him, since I had shared the same space, the same air.
My eyes carefully fluttered shut as his lips captured my own and I allowed myself to disappear into a world where only Sam and I existed. The kiss was slow and tender and the passion that was coursing through us was palpable; our lips slowly fighting to stay in perfect rhythm with one another's. His tongue grazed my lips as it sought permission to dance with mine and I obliged, quickly remembering how much I had missed the taste of his kiss. There was nowhere else in the world that felt more like home than being in his arms and I hoped I was never going to have to lose that feeling again.