Meaningless

Chapter 13

Gray is having a hard time understanding Juvia. It isn’t hard understanding her around Xander but when they were alone, he finds her difficult to speak of. “You can tell me what you think, Juvia. Let’s take away all this awkwardness.”

Juvia looked down, realizing what Gray said. “How was it?”

Gray raised his brow. “What?”

“How was it here? With Xander, I mean?” She asked, she doesn’t really know what to say to him.

Gray was slightly confused but he answered her anyway. “It was amazing.”

Juvia smiled and she relaxed a little bit. “Being an anxious father?”

Gray also smiled when he saw how Juvia relax. He chuckled when she teased him. He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. I’m an anxious father. I have been here for a week. I think that would be a normal reaction. How could you be so calm with him?”

Juvia shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know. I think it’s called ‘Mother’s instinct’.”

“Right.” Gray agreed and nodded.

They were both silent after that. It’s strange that the uncomfortable atmosphere earlier fades away with one conversation. They were now both relaxed and smiling.

“How was it?” Gray asked.

Juvia looked at him with curiosity. “How was what?”

“Me being here?” He asked, with some hand gestures.

Juvia thought. Her heart leaps with his question. Being with Gray, the father of his child, made her happy yet nervous. It seemed surreal for her but he was here. Real. Living with her. “I still couldn’t believe you were here.”

“Why?” Gray asked, frowning.

“I don’t know. It still feels like a dream.” She said. Then, they both fell silent. Juvia sighed and felt guilty once again. So she spoke again, “I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done in the past.”

Gray was surprised. He looked at Juvia. Then, he felt the urge to ask questions, to have a conversation with both of them calm. Gray sighed.

“Why did you keep Xander away from me?” He asked, finally. He wasn’t able to ask this question before because of his aggressive attitude.

Juvia took a deep breath. He is calm this time. She shut her eyes. “I was terrified at that time.” Her fingers fidgeted as she explained. “I don’t know what else to think. I don’t have the guts to tell you at that time.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you gave birth?” He asked. His voice sounds hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me when he turned a year old? Why didn’t you tell me, Juvia?”

Because I was still scared. She thought. “I made you hate me. I broke up with you, not knowing I was carrying our child. I thought you didn’t have to know. That you’ve move on. That you’ll marry another girl and have a child with her. I -“

“You ran away from me.” Gray said, dejected. He walked towards Juvia. Juvia is stunned, stuck in her seat. “Did I ever give you a reason for you to think that I’ll leave you?”

Gray is already close to Juvia. Their eyes met. “Juvia…” he said. His hands were on the both side so the chair, cornering her. “Have I gave you or told you something that made you ran away?”

Juvia was lost in Gray’s pleading eyes. He is close to him, so close that her breaths became fast and shallow. Her heart is beating fast. She is nervous. She is excited.