Chapter 12

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Sometimes claiming a new life can be as painful as it was joyful leaving the old one behind.

Twelve

After Hayden went home and showered and changed, we packed a picnic dinner, hopped into his truck, and headed to Lea Lake at the Bottomless Lakes State Park. The first time Hayden took me there, I completely fell in love with the place, so we went back as often as we could. Lea  Lake was my favorite of the lakes because the water was crystal clear. I always imagined a whole enchanted underworld when I gazed into its depths. A world of mermaids and water nymphs with flowing hair spilling behind them as they swam through magical crevices, over mountainous crests, and through glittering stone arches. I could sit by the water for hours and let my imagination carry me away. It truly was a beautiful lake.

Hayden had told me the lakes weren't really bottomless. They just looked that way because of the greenish blue color that came from algae and other plants at the bottom. He said the lakes really were no more than ninety feet deep. I told him that to me, especially since I couldn't swim well, that was bottomless. In any case, I was anxious to be there again with him.

I sat in the middle of the seat close to Hayden as we enjoyed the scenic drive. We filled the time with talk of our wedding and everything we still needed to do to get ready.

“So, when is your mama flying in?”

“Friday at two in the afternoon, which gives me a day to help get her room ready at Caroline's.”

He squeezed my hand and pressed it to his lips. “You pretty excited to see her?”

“I am.” I couldn't help smiling as I thought of Mama's reaction to my announcement that I was getting married again. She didn't lecture me or drill me with a thousand questions. She only asked three. Did I love Hayden? Did he love me? Would he make me happy? I answered yes to all three, and that was that.

“Well, at least you'll reach your goal of getting her out here.”

“That's true. And all I had to do is get engaged.”

“Is that all?” he said, putting his arm around me.

I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I can't think of a better reason.”

“Neither can I. But I can think of a better announcement, only we have to get married before we can make that happen.”

I smiled, instantly warmed. “I look forward to having your babies, Hayden.”

“They'll be beautiful, that's for sure.”

Nodding, I pressed my head against his shoulder and thought about how much I longed to be the mother of his children. I had always wanted children, but the intense and deep love I felt for Hayden made my desire to be a mother even greater. I had no doubt he would be a wonderful father. I sighed deeply and let my thoughts continue as we settled into a comfortable silence.

After a few moments, my cell phone rang. I reached into my purse and mentally swore when the agency's number appeared on the ID screen. To say I was hesitant to answer was an understatement.

“You gonna answer that?” Hayden asked when it rang a third time.

I did my best to smile nonchalantly and pressed the button. My voice sounded strained when I answered, despite my best efforts.

“Sorry to call you back so soon, Raine,” Andrea said quickly, “but Ebersole is waiting for an answer . . . like right now. They are anxious to get going on this. I know you haven't had much time to think about it, but we really need an answer. And please let it be yes.”

I sighed and glanced over at Hayden who seemed to be looking at me more than the road.

“I can't, Andrea,” I finally said. “I've made my decision and I'm set on it. My life is here.” When I said the last, Hayden moved his arm from around me and rested his hand on his thigh. I looked at him as he stared straight ahead, his expression unreadable.

“I'm sorry, Andrea, but I have to go.” I could tell she was annoyed with me, but at the moment I didn't care. One day I would try to help her understand my decision, but for now, I owed Hayden an explanation before he jumped to the wrong conclusion.

“So,” he finally said after a minute, “you wanna to tell me what that was about?”

I looked at him and nodded. “Could we wait until we get there?”

“Fine,” was his solitary reply.

Except for the country music station Hayden turned on to fill the silence, nothing else was said until we reached the lake.

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