The Affair

8. Fear

I'm starting to think I have serious feelings for Mr. Davidson! Which isn't good. I mean, I'm getting butterflies knowing I have 2 hours of legal studies with him this morning. I can't wait. I have to stop this feeling, it's getting weird. Yesterday, I grabbed his arm, without even thinking! I've probably freaked him out. I couldn't help it, it just happened, and I regret it!
I walked into class and sat down in my usual seat, fixed my hair and waited for him to walk through the door. He was running late, weird. I heard the door close and looked up .... Where's Alex?

'Hi class, I'm your Sub teacher, Mr. Collin'. Mr. Who? Where's Mr. Davidson? What about our after school class? Omg, why am I so depressed? I want to slap myself silly. 2 hours with Mr. Collin? Pfft.

'He is cute' Leslie whispered. Where has she been when Alex taught the class? Yeah he's cute... And young.... And cute. But I can't help but think about where Alex is.

'So, if anyone needs help, just come up to the desk' he looked at me and sat down. I looked away quickly. I don't want to look at him, he isn't Alex. What am I saying!? After about half an hour of silent work. I was stuck on the 5th activity. I stood up and walked to the desk.

'Uh, Mr. Collin?' He looked up and smirked.
'Yes' he raised an eyebrow. Why is he looking at me like that?
'I'm... Uh... Stuck on number 5' he took the sheet out of my hand, his eyes not moving from mine. He does have pretty eyes. Very green.
'Already up to 5? Hmm, your fast' he smirked... Again. I cleared my throat and looked away. 'What's your name?' I looked at him. Why does he want to know?
'Avery'
'Avery.... Avery Jennings?' I nodded. He smiled 'I've heard quite a bit about you, you're very popular in conversations that happen in the staff room' he chuckled.
'Umm, okay' I stayed standing, my heart raced.
'Well, Avery' He looked up at me and leant on the table 'Mr. Davidson wrote... To only do up to the 4th activity... Guess you're done' he winked. WAIT WHAT?! Did he just.... Why? What just happened. My eyes shot open, I grabbed the sheet out of his hands and walked back to my seat. I felt his gaze on me, as if it was stuck. I cannot believe what just happened. Where is Mr. Davidson?! This guy freaks me out. It's almost as though he is flirting with me, and I don't like it. However, if Mr. Davidson flirted with me, I probably wouldn't mind. Oh my god, I have got to stop!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cannot believe I'm missing work today! What will my classes think? What will my boss think? What will Avery think? Missing a class and an after school session. My boss will think I'm slacking, although, he knows what's going on, so thank goodness for that. I didn't sleep at all last night, neither did Danny. My car isn't here, Louise has still got it and the kids. The fight went on all night, died down after the silent hour, then she had a shower.... And we started again. She went on about how she feels im unfaithful and I went on about how she has no trust and then she went on about how unhappy she is, and so on. I lit rally didn't close my eyes for a few minutes, we pulled an all nighter. No way was I going to work. For many reasons. Danny, however, left for work at 11am, I made sure she had at least 2 hours sleep. I even tucked her into bed and made her breakfast. I don't understand.... Why is she so unhappy? How can she be? What am I doing wrong? Other than the fact I work long hours but she does too. Yeah, she doesn't work everyday, but when she does, she works 10-15 hours. So don't blame me, Hunny.

'Louise' she stood at the door with the kids.

'Alex... Is she.... Here' I shook my head.

'Hey pal! How are ya bud! How about you go take your things upstairs and we can throw the ball around a bit?' I shook his hair.

'Alright!' He yelled with happiness and ran upstairs. I took Ava from her arms.

'Hey baby girl. Ohhh, daddy missed you' I gave her kisses. Louise looked at me with sorrow in her eyes. 'What?' I grinned.

'I'm sorry, Alex. You don't deserve what happened last night. The kids definitely don't'

'It's the kids im worried about, Louise. I just... Don't know what to do anymore'

'I know sweetheart. That's just Danny, she has... Changed. Ever since she found out she was pregnant again'

'I'm sorry you had to witness that, Louise'

'Alex...' She stepped closer to me. Placed her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes 'I can't tell you exactly why she is the way she is... But... I don't think you're the unfaithful one' my eyes shot wide open. My jaw clenched.
'Wh- What?'

'Alex... I think it may have something to do with her work colleague. You heard nothing from me' she gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked out, closing the door behind her. I had to put Ava down to watch her shows while I figure out what just happened. She's cheating... On ME!?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9pm, kids are in bed and she isn't home yet. She disgusts me. Even though this may not be true, but why would Louise feel that way for no reason? A mothers instinct is like no other. I had to do something, find out whatever. I got out her laptop and logged onto her emails. This is bad, so bad, but a mans got to do what a mans got to do. I flicked through 4 weeks of emails and nothing suspicious. Except the constant emailing to Dylan Rogers. Ergh, the young, good looking assistant. Then I thought, emails are professional. I need her phone! This is total invading of privacy, but I'm doing this for my kids and Louise.... And myself. She has taken her phone with her, obviously, but I can check the phone bill!

Yada yada yada... Ahh, here we go. 3 thousand and 2 hundred text messages?! What the hell! Before I opened up the texts, I thought about what I was doing. This could be a private thing, maybe I'm just being paranoid. I feel horrible, I'm about to look at her private texts, do I really want to do this? No, I can't. I logged out of the account and tried to forget about it. I need some sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Marriage counceling?!' I suggested to her excitedly
'Seriously? Come on, Alex' she shook her head.
'Okay... I don't know what you want me to do... I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried, Danny, I've tried' I said as I turned the TV off. She wasn't paying attention to me.
'Alex! Get over it'

'Real mature. I'm not going to get over it! You traumatised my kids! Your mother! How do you feel about that? You feel nothing? Nothing at all?'

'Oh my god, Alex. Don't make me sound like a horrible mother and a horrible daughter! I'm only human! You're always trying to find ways to put me down'

'Ohhh, my god. Danny, you're making up bullshit. When have I ever done something like that.... Please. I just want you.... To talk to me'

'I'm talking.... Im talking Alex' she crossed her arms and frowned at me.

'What do you need me to do? I'll do it, Danny....' There was silence 'Do you still love me, Danny?' She rolled her eyes.

'Oh Alex, seriously'

'Answer the question, Danny' I said forcefully. She scoffed. 'Great.... Great!!' I stood up and walked into the kitchen. I leant on the bench, my face hiding in my palms. A few minutes passed and a phone started vibrating. I looked to my left... Danny's phone. Just as I opened my mouth to call her over, I realised the name.

'Dylan. R'