Missed Me, Missed Me, Now You Gotta Kiss Me

He's Perfect....In a Douchey Way

    It was at school that I had a revelation.

  For two weeks, now, there was not so much proof as there was talk of Tanya and Liam being back together. I didn’t care what Liam said. There was no way he was with Tanya. He hated her.

  You know, at first, I had been really upset about it. On the verge of tears, especially after leaving the barn that day. I felt awful as well. I felt that I had created this Liam who dated his ex- girlfriend just to hurt his best friend that, coincidentally, was “in love with”.

  But by the next week, I was just pissed. Boys are such liars! Once again, I was caught up in the piss off-edness of Liam redating Tanya for the sole purpose of hurting me. And, hell, why not throw David in the mix? I mean, he cheated on me with my best friend! And that was all the headway Liam needed to force his damned lips on mine and bedazzle me with his kisses. I mean, what a turd! How dare he butter me up with Line dancing and his southern charm a week after I not only breakup with my boyfriend, but find out he’s cheating on me? If Liam had waited so long to be with me, would really kill him to wait a little until I had some time to digest my latest breakup?

  I mean, if he really loved me—and I really doubted it was love so much as it was thinking your childhood best friend has grown boobs in the past few years—why couldn’t he just stand a little while longer of being my best friend? I mean, I might’ve changed my mind. I highly doubt it, but Liam couldn’t have read my mind!

  Only he could. He was my best friend. How could he not know that I wasn’t going to change my mind?

  And so I was stuck somewhere in piss offedness and sorrow. The image of my poor, defeated friend walking back to his truck would be forever be melded in my head, stuck on repeat. I can’t just be friends with you. Friends don’t feel the way I do about you, Piper. I love you.

  I love you.

 I love you.

 IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou….

 AHHHH! I just wished his sad, heavy words would stop replaying in my head!

  Oh, but then I’d remember: He was going out with Tanya, the sleazy ex girlfriend he claimed to have hated, to have called a nightmare.

  And I got all piss offedness once more.

  That was how my week went; replaying that night and feeling awful, and then remembering Tanya and getting pissed all over again.

  So when my revelation sparked at lunch, I was quite relieved.

  “I got it!” I said, a little too loudly as a few people in line looked at me funny.

  “Got what?” Lulu asked.

  She was such an awesome friend. I had obviously been down in the dumps—or pissed—for two weeks, and she was just waiting for me to tell her why. The thing was, while I really wanted to tell her, I wasn’t ready to make it that much of a reality. If it was just kept inside of me, it was less real. I knew that kind of thinking was stupid and illogical, but it was my brain. I’ll think how I want, thank you very much.

  But I think she sort of knew anyway.

  When we got to our table, I launched into my ingenious epiphany. “I’ve gotta go on a date.”

  Lulu nodded, stabbing her lettuce with her fork. “I agree.”

  “But only one guy. I want to date one guy. But I don’t wanna get any emotional attachment to him.”