Home (mcytxreader)

Pt 1

I wipe the sweat from my brow, having farmed a *massive* amount of wheat for my Bussing cake business. I then sort all the wheat I've collected and craft it all into hay bales, only having three leftover. From this most recent harvest, I now have 36 more hay bales. I get like five stacks of wheat per harvest, and I haven't made cake in roughly... five harvests. 36 times 5 is like...I think 180? I think so. And then 180 times nine- god math is weird... I think its like 1600 something? of wheat? I should round up like a hundred to account for extra. I should make more cakes. 

I just need to collect all the eggs out of the chicken pen. The chicken pen can't really be called that, it's a five by four hole, two blocks deep. I'm not upsetting peta you are. Whatever. I put the excess seeds in the barrels by my farm.

All jokes aside, there's literally nothing much else I can do with all these hay bales, so I get to collecting more eggs. I hop into the chicken pen and f u c k theres a lot more chickens than I thought. I usually breed them from outside the pen, so I did *not* anticipate how many there actually were. These little shits are gunning for my bones I swear. I can feel them trying to nip them outta my ankles. Since I literally can't walk anywhere I just start killing. I know that's fucked up, but that's the reality. Sucks to suck. 

Since there were like, 30 more chickens than I thought, I gained a full level and a half, before finally being able to just get the eggs. I get almost 4 dozen more eggs and put them in the almost full egg chest I have. I definitely need to clear my inventory before I start up making cakes. 

Oh shit, its night. Phantoms are gonna be on my ahH- I jump and start running as the phantoms start swooping down, smacking the fuck out of me. Most people assume they headbutt you, but because I'm stupid and stay up all the time, I've discovered that they actually bash you in the skull with their tails on the way up. They also bite if you try to grab them :D so all I know is pain on the mad dash back to my bed. 

I go to scramble up the ladder to my base, but get knocked off. Jeezus, the audacity- I think as I start smacking these bitches back. My axe is pretty damn strong, and while they don't die immediately, they *are* missing significant portions of flesh. I finally get my ass up the ladder and go to sleep, frying those mfs in the morning sun. You might find that cruel, but considering they enjoy trying to steal my spine, I don't think so. Literally, they like drinking spinal fluid. But instead of being polite they're just like, yo gimme your spine. no? imma take it. So rude. They also don't seem to feel pain or care really at all when they burn so eh.

After watching the morning phantom fry, I head up to my third floor into cake pyramid and go into my disc barrel. I've only got three thus far, cat, 13, and otherside. I put otherside into my jukebox, then immediately take it back out. I used to really enjoy it, but I somehow manage to forget that that's all I could hear when Dream took everything. My dogs couldn't double as attack dogs, never trained them to hurt people. The horses, my flock, cows, chickens. He burned all of that a long time ago. I still remember the horrible sounds, the smell as it all went down in flames.

 He'd better hope I never see his Telletubby lookin ass ever again. Neon little fuck. I need to get off all that though. I rebuilt, and if he ever found me again, I'd be more than ready. My armor is all diamond now, minus the chestplate being netherite. I can only go bed bombing so often. Plus with all the fire ptsd I have and all the damn lava and fire in the nether, add in my crippling anxiety, and it's not really a match made in heaven. I know 1 netherite chestplate and axe, no matter how enchanted wouldn't do much, but I'm stronger than I've ever been.

Whatever. I take a moment, and decide I like cat better than 13. So, I slot it in, and clear my thoughts of the past, turning towards the now. I then exit cake pyramid and walk up to the top of it, pulling out my spyglass. I scope out the area to see if I can spot any Illagers scrambling back to wherever the hell they're coming from. I still have no idea, and they've been trying to raid my base for nearly a year. 

At first, I think I've spotted a couple, but immediately notice the diffrence in skin tones. There's a human and- Piglin? Wait. The fuck? Is someone like, making a deal with one or sum shit? Wait, but that guy is pink as shit. What the hell is that guy? I zoom in on his face as he and the human guy stumble their way towards my base. He- he's legit just a pig with more human-y limbs. Okay. Who fucked a pig and made that mf? Whatever. People are weird. I need to learn to read lips. 

I send my trident into one of them just to see what they do. The human pulls out his sword, and throws on a full netherite set. Fuck. All of it's enchanted too, and pig man is wearing the same. Damn it. I crouch behind cake pyramid and take off my helmet so they don't spot the enchantment glow. I grab my flame bow and take a couple more potshots. I don't want to kill them, but I don't trust them not to be a threat to my base. They're within shouting range so I call down to them. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" I hear a muffled "Heh?!" come back. Then I hear another voice, I think the human say, "Who the hell are you??? We were just walking by mate, holy fuck!" Since they're now at the fenced border of my yard, I hop down into my little man made pond from cake pyramid, sniping pig man again on the way down and pulling out my axe. I grab my shield as well and switch to my crossbow, already locked and loaded. Keeping it carefully aimed to account for multishot, I look between the two. 

The human steps forward and gestures for peace, but doesn't put away the sword. He says "First of all, holy shit that was cool, and second, why the fuck are you trying to kill us??" I look over at pig man and note both the many potion effects he has going and the fact that he's inching closer, axe in hand. I switch to my bow and aim at him entirely. "I see you getting closer asshat. And don't you move either, blondie, I can still see you. Why are you here?" The human sighs and puts his sword away, but keeps a shield in his offhand. "Phil what the heck are you doin'?" Asks the pig man to apparently Phil in the loudest whisper ever.

 I get a closer look at this Phil guy and note he looks to be around thirty or so. He speaks up and says, "Look at them Techno, they're fucking shaking, back off." Damn it, I am. I steady my grip, but I can't make my left hand stop quivering. I ignore it instead, and I see this Techno guy start lowering his axe. 

I begin to lower my bow when the human takes off his helmet, and lowers his shield. I know this is my chance, when they're most trusting, and take aim. I see Techno grip his axe tighter, but choose to trust Phil and take his helmet off too. I swing my drawn bow over to him, and know I could put this flame arrow right through his eye. I aim, draw the bow back tighter. 

And I can't. I can't fucking kill people. Based on the worry in both their eyes and body language, the way they tense when I aim at the other, they care a lot about each other. Like a lot a lot. Fuck. I reluctantly lower my bow, and note the relief on Phil's face. The sudden sound of him laughing makes my grab my axe again, and he jumps back. "Whoa! Sorry. I was just worried for a second there." I sigh, and I lower my axe. "Same. Do me a favor and hand over your flint and steels would you?"

Techno looks at me confused and asks, "Why? That's such an oddly specific request." I set my jaw and respond, "Just. Seen shit 'kay? My whole house is wood, so I don't like knowing guests have them, and they're banned from the property. I'll give em' back when I trust you or when you leave."