My supernatural journal

1/11/2022

So I told my therapist what my mom said about the price increase. He said that if it was such a big deal for her then he'd drop the price back down. I think he's starting to realize how terrible she is cz even my sister wasn't bothered by the $25 difference (and she's poor). He also knows I refuse to switch to any other therapist. 

A couple days ago, I asked my grandma (the nice one; mom's mom was iffy) if she knew I'm autistic and she said she suspected it when I was young since she used to be a teacher for little kids (which means she was trained to recognize the traits). She then said she suspected it because I showed similar traits as some of her autistic students so when it came time to help me with school work, she had an idea of how to help. She was loving about it and said that being autistic didn't change how she saw me or treated me, I was still her grandchild deserving of love and nurturing (too bad my mom couldn't be like that). My sister flat out said we grew up without parents cz of how poorly our adoptive parents treated us (especially mom). Also I think someone tried to hack into my iPad some days ago. If they were hoping to rob a "spoiled rich girl" HA wrong bitch lol

My therapist wonders why my mom is iffy about how much money she's spending on my mental state eventhough she can afford it just fine. It's like she expects to already be having tea or some shit with me after a month of sessions. In terms of how often I have sessions, I'm still at stage 1. There's just so much that I'm still remembering (or trying to remember) all the shit I experienced. Then there's the judgmental "repent! Find the truth in Jesus!" People, they can suck a D cz I don't care and I really wish they'd stop trying to convert people who are satisfied with not being Christian. If you gotta demonize or terrorize someone into converting, leave them alone. I recently told a guy friend about that one Christian guy who was shoving his problems for his God to handle and the friend agreed that guy was weak af. It's so rude and disrespectful when people say "oh it's all about love and light and acceptance. It's very forgiving" and then 180 and harass you for following a different faith. I've met plenty of Christians who tried to push their faith onto me even after I explained why I choose paganism instead. Literally just a cult of of misinformed idiots following something that's falsely advertised. There isn't a single Christian I've encountered who read the Bible cover to cover on their own and still believes it's a good faith. Those who did read and no longer follow though, that number is higher than 1 which says something about the faith. Bit questionable. For once, I saw representation of the Slavic pagan community on a tiktok about pagans celebrating the winter solstice and it felt good to know that not everyone is counting us out. Others in the comments even said "Finally! Some representation of the Slavic pagans!" 

I really hope my sister doesn't need me home tomorrow, I had a cute outfit picked out for today but ended up having to put it back in the closet cz she said "I need you home today" eventhough all she said yesterday was "I need you to clean the dishes". -_- ; cz if her inconvenience, I haven't had real healthy food all day, just a couple old oranges, some chocolate, marshmallows and veggie sticks. 

Forgot to mention, my grandpa also had an idea of my brain status but wasn't as trained as grandma so they both basically knew I'm not neurotypical without being told. That also means mom likely didn't tell them either.

-Adri