Mixed Feelings

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How could he just walk away like that? He can't be mad at me, because if anything I'm the one that should be allowed to be pissed right now! He made out with me, then went out and made out with that thing he calls his ex girlfriend. After what happened that night, I don't think that's his ex anymore. I can't keep telling myself I don't care, because I'm just lying to myself. It's been a week since that's happened and I haven't been out of my room once, nor taken a shower. I just didn't have it in me anymore.

All I've been doing is eating ice cream, watching The Best of Me over and over again and crying. I know that I'm just being dramatic. I've only been here for a month now and I love him? Time sure did pass quickly. That I know. I've already been to school, but I really didn't think it was all that special. It was like regular school. The teachers and teenagers didn't care that I was the new kid. Sure, people tried being friends with me and boys tried getting with me, but I just ignored everything and only stayed friends with Katie because I know she won't back stab me.

After sitting around for a week straight, I decided it's time to get up and get out of this house. It only reminds me of who I'm next door to. He's been getting up and going out as if nothing has happened and to be honest, it's hard for me whenever we don't talk. I never wanted it to be this way. I got up and chose an outfit for today. It was a casual outfit: a cute black cami/crop top looking shirt with blue Jean shorts and my black converses. I called Katie and asked her if she wanted to do something today such as go do a little shopping for Auntie Jasmine because her 32nd birthday is tomorrow! She said yeah and I told her I would pick her up around 3/4pm. I hopped into the shower and blasted my Shawn Mendes playlist loudly through my speaker. I rinsed my body off, then just poured the whole bottle of dove body wash and shampoo onto me. I'm gonna need more of that.

As I finished up, I decided to just let my hair air-dry since it was gonna get wavy anyways. I threw my clothes on quickly since it was already 3:30pm. I grabbed my purse and headed to my car. My camaro. Her name's Sabrina and she's one feisty and fast girl. I just hope she doesn't give up on me ever. As I got into my car, I was about to start the engine but I realized that I didn't even have my keys. Now please tell me, how am I going to drive with no keys? I think my brain is working a little slowly today. I ran back inside to get my keys but I couldn't even find them. Then I remembered exactly where they were. Well this is just great isn't it?! I don't think he's here yet, so maybe I can just run up, grab my keys and hurry out of there fast. I ran up there, and opened the door. I looked around for my keys when I heard the shower turn off. Has that been on this whole time? Crap! That means he's here. I went to grab my keys when a hand reached out and my keys before I could. "Give me my keys back!" I tried to shout, but failing because of my voice cracking. I hated that I was on the verge of breaking in front of this jerk. "No. Seriously Neveah, we need to talk. You're not going anywhere until you let me explain. I've avoided this for too long and I'm not letting it go any further than this. Now sit down and let me talk." He said in a demanding tone. This is really hard for me to sit here comfortably. Like, why the hell he wanna come out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower half showing off his abs with water dripping down from his hair which looks sooooooo- "Nevaeh, have you been listening to a word I've said, or are you to busy having sex with me with your eyes?"he said smirking. Hell, he seen me watching?

"I was not- whatever it doesn't even matter. Can just have my damn keys back?" I said getting irritated. He doesn't get to just talk to me any kind of way. "No. You are going to hear me out first. Nevaeh please. Just give me 5 minutes." Ugh, now I'm going to have to make up some kind of excuse to tell Katie of why I'm so late. "5 minutes. That's all. Talk. 4:59..4:58..4:57. Tick tock time's running out." I said continuing to count down. "That night at the party, when you saw me kissing Chelsea, it was what it looked like. Lying would only make me feel worse. But, I didn't want to make out with her. After you left and didn't come back for a while, I figured you went to dance with your friends. So, me and a couple of my friends were playing truth or dare. They dared me to make out with her or they would post the pictures of me skinny dipping at this pool party we had gone to. I was drunk and out of my mind. I did it, because if that ever had gotten out to my dad, he would cut my balls off and hand them to me to look at and he wouldn't pay my way into UCLA." he said calmly, but all at once. He continued "Whenever you told me that I meant nothing to you, I was hurt and angry because I thought you felt the same way for as I did, well still do for you." I could see that his eyes were watering up.

In that moment, everything seemed to have faded away. I pulled him in for a hug, running my fingers through his damp hair and pulled away. Nothing mattered anymore at this moment. He then kissed me and promised me he'd never walk away again. We canceled our plans we had for the day and just cuddled together. All of these mixed feelings, I hope, are going to fade away. I know I love him.
I never got my car keys back though!

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Heeey babieeess! This chapter is a loooooong one, but I think yall deserve it because I haven't updated in almost 4 days! Sorry, but I am still in school and I'm sometimes lazy and tired after school.

Awww, see what did I say? Losing people is never easy, but losing them for a short amount of time is!
Love ya, byeee! ;)

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