All strings detached - Leon S. Kennedy

Chapter 1

A sharp sting on my cheek, I'm not shielding myself anymore, it is not the first time his hand has hit my face. My hand holds onto my hurting cheek, ringing in my ears, what did I do this time? I look up to him, his face in anger, I am fearing the things he might do next. "Don't you think I'm tired from work too?" he yells, if I could I would cry, but that'd get me into more trouble. I can't get a word out "Why do you make me hurt you like that, Amber?" he looks at me, like he doesn't want to do this, it makes me wonder, am I the reason? Am I deserving of the pain he gives me? 
"I'm sorry" I mumble, I can't hold eye contact with him anymore, how did I get into this mess? 
It all started after I left Leon 6 months ago, Jake was there and I tried to get over him, in a sense I used him to forget Leon, he was charming at first, deceiving and said the right words. At first it was to mess around, then it became more serious, I thought I loved him, no, I do love him. Then everything went downhill, It started when I came home later after I was out, then I wasn't allowed to go out at all anymore. I thought to myself; maybe he's just overprotective? Things only got worse, I wasn't allowed to wear the things I liked, forbid I spoke to Chris, out of all the people: Chris?! My best friend. So I stayed away from Chris, only speaking to him when I had to. Leon and I no longer speak, we co-exist, I've gone as far as changing my position, I am now in charge of training new people or people that go on missions. I do not want to think about the things he has told me whenever I even looked Leons direction. I try to tell myself that the feeling when I look at him is just our past, creeping up on me. I love Jake, otherwise I wouldn't endure all of this, after all I do deserve it, I used him to get over Leon. 

I stand in the kitchen, making food for us, though not so recently my appetite has gone downhill, the times he's told me I'd need to lose some weight, I have too many muscles for a woman. I look down on myself, no one has noticed, right? "Are you done soon?" He shouts from the living room. I take a deep breath and take the food out of the oven, putting something on a plate and giving it to him and sitting down on the couch next to him. "I'm so sorry for earlier, my hand just slipped" I nod and smile, it's alright Jake, i get it "You know I love you right?" I smile at him "I love you too" I give back, there's moments like that, that make up for it "I'll be with you in the training tomorrow" He gives back and my head falls to the side "Why?" he looks at me "Aren't you  happy that I'm with you tomorrow?" I shake my head "no i am happy" I take a sip from my glass of water, he turns away, I said the right thing. For the rest of the evening we watch his stuff on TV before we head back to bed, that's how it is everyday.. With time to time I have grown to fear talking, but I try to always remember the things he's said, everything is my fault, that combined with the things Leon said? I am not his problem anymore? That must mean I have always been the problem. Besides, he's always been so nice to everyone, everyone loves him, there must be a reason why I'm not one of those people. I know how often I lose my temper, or at least I used to.

"Hurry up, Amber" he rolls his eyes as he stands in the doorway, watching me put on clothes, looking down on my arms I see a bruise, damn it, I'm lucky that my work clothes aren't revealing. My face looks good, nothing that I need to cover up, either way my new position at the BSAA has given me the option to put it on the training, all the bruises, I didn't want Jake to get into trouble because of me. "I'm done" I say as I walk up to the door, I would be lying if I said I never imagined Leon standing at the door waiting for me again, I am still as pathetic as I was back then, how can I think about him when I love Jake? I am a horrible girlfriend. My stomach twists and turns at the thought of it "Come on" He opens the door and we leave "Is chris going to work with us too?" I ask and he looks to the side for a second "Why do you ask?" His voice is rougher "Just so I know if we have more time together" I fiddle with my thumbs, yea, I still do that. "Ah, no I think he's with stratcom today" my heart stops, Leon's here today? I nod and go back to looking out of the window until we arrive at the BSAA's building. We walk in, Jake holding me tight with his arm around my wrist, it's no secret to anyone at the BSAA that we are together, not many care, the ones that do being Chris and Jill. How can they still care after I pushed them away so much? "Jake, we've got a problem" Chris says as he walks up to us, my gaze lowers, I can't look him in the eyes. "What's up?" Jake asks "I'll have to handle the training with Amber today, take over with stratcom for me" Panic shoots through me, Jake in the same mission as Leon? Tonight isn't going to be peaceful. "I'll see you later" Jake says, kissing me on the temple and turning around to leave. Please don't speak to me, Chris, please. I walk towards the changing room in a fast manner, hoping to not hear his voice behind me. Luckily for me I make it into the changing room. 

I put my gloves on, I'm glad my ability to train and work has not been too influenced by this, I would be doomed if my position at the BSAA was taken away from me. Chris looks at me, I can see it from the corner of my eye so I turn my head to look at him "What's up?" I laugh, trying to put up my usual front, he walks up to me "So, is everything okay?" He crosses his arms, have I caused suspicion? How? "Yes, why do you ask?" He gives me a look, his typical look, the one that yells 'i am worried about you' I try to straighten my posture, seeming less intimidated "We don't really talk anymore, ever since you've been with Jake, you've changed" Oh god, what do I say to that? My first instinct is to be defensive "Jake is great, why do you feel like it's any of your business?" I put my hands into my pockets "I'm here to teach with you, not to discuss my love life with you" I turn away, tying my hair up, I can look at it completely again, It's grown a fair amount. "You're different" I ball my fists, turning back to him "I'm fine, don't you have other people to be around, like Leon?" I tighten the gloves on my wrist, walkin ahead "Amber, stop this now" He grabs me by my arm, I inhale sharply and flinch, fuck that hurt. I turn around and look at him, his face in confusion, I know what question comes next, so I answer it before he can even ask; "Its from yesterdays training" I yank my arm away and go towards the training hall. Should I not have been that agressive? But I feel like it's the only way to get him off my back.

After work and with shaky hands I put on the lighter, I've never liked smoking, but it's the only thing that's made me feel in control. Though I only smoke when In immense stress situations, It still helps. Footsteps chime next to me and as I go to put the cigarette between my lips, it get's yanked away from my fingers "Since when do you smoke" my eyes widen, I haven't heard that voice in ages. My eyes trace up to him. He still wears the same jacket as he used to, his eyes still look the way I remember, this is the first time in months I have stood this close to him, I have seen him walk past me, seen him from a distance, but I never got to see his eyes that close again. His voice still makes me feel the exact same way it used to. "Since when do you care?" I ask as he puts out the cigarette on the floor "I don't but your perfect boyfriend might" I scoff, perfect huh? "Amber?" his voice comes from the door behind us, fuck.. I turn around quickly, looking at Jake "Let's go" his voice is deep, commanding, I shouldn't have spoke to Leon. I lower my gaze and walk up to him to which he grabs my wrist, squeezing a little bit too hard for my liking. I take my things and walk towards the car with him, waiting for him to yell once we enter the apartment. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have talked to him" I start the moment the door closes behind us but he just yanks me behind him on my wrist "I told you not to speak to him" He turns around in a quick manner, the back of his hand hitting my face. Is this how it's going to be forever? Am I stuck in a hell I created for myself? "I'm sorry, he spoke first" I hold onto my nose, ouch, he's hit me hard. "It won't happen again" I mumble, I should start using my brain "Good, you know I only want the best for you, right?" I look at him "Of course, Jake" I wipe the blood of my nose "I know how much he's hurt you, I wouldn't want that to ever happen to you again" He's trying to protect me, right? He puts his fingers under my chin, kissing me. I kiss him back for a short moment until I break free "Should I make some food?" I try to get him away from me, I've not been wanting to be intimate again. "That sounds great"