"Cass?!? I'm here, It's calum where are you?" I yell opening searching all the hallways. I hear a scream and I run back to Michael's bathroom. I shake at the door handle it won't budge, I can hear her crying in there.

"It's me Cass, just open the door"

"I can't " I hear her say

"I'm going to open the door" I yell and then run to the window and toss Luke my phone out the window "Call 911"

"Move out of the way" I tell Cass

"No, you fucking promised this would be my decision. Okay? I'm gonna swallow these and all I want is to end on a good note"

"Just wait okay? I just want to know why, you're getting better and you've got friends"

"You're a shitty friend Calum and you knew how I felt about you" I hear her sob "It doesn't matter you're too late. All I want to say to you and you can write these as my last words are Fuck you, you're not God Calum" She passes under the door a lace from her ballet slipper.

"Cass?!?" I sob "I'm so fucking sorry, just please wait the ambulance will be here soon. But it's too late she's stop talking and the fucking door won't open.

Eventually the medics arrive and cary her body out and try to pump her stomach.

Luke drives me back home and explains to Mum.

"Michael is at the hospital, he's gonna update us" Luke says taking a seat beside me

"Fuckin' hell. " I throw my chair across the room "She hates me, her last words were Fuck you, you're not God Calum. I tried so fucking hard and she's gone or wanted to be"

We sit there in silence

Then I speak up "It's all my fucking fault she's gone"

"No it's mine if I hadn't gotten the times wrong"

"It's not, she was convinced of it from the start. I just wish that she is... was happy and I dunno"

The next morning we drive over and find out she's in a medically induced coma. They let us in to see she's been cutting herself and starving herself.

The doctor tells us her withdrawls gave her serious depression and suicidal thoughts and that once she healed they were going to move her to rehab

"Unfortunately, her parents aren't here so Child Services have been involved. Where has she been staying?" the doc asks

Michael starts answering the questions and i twiddle my fingers with the ballet lace. I recount this whole story for them. I come to school late and everyone stares, I give Tony and his friends death stares.

"Did she die while fucking you?" Tony yells at me

"She's not dead and I didn't fuck her" I answer back

"Shame, she was good. Her mouth was-"

I'm not sure what happened next, but eventually I was being pulled away from Michael Ashton and Luke and Tony was on the ground with one eyes hut and blood gushing out of his mouth and nose

"You can keep your fucking mouth shut, and I hope you stay away from her. If she did die, it's because of you guys."

"We didn't know"

"You fucking did, otherwise you wouldn't convince her to do all that shit and make her feel bad" I yell

"It's not worth it" Michael says pulling me away "Let's go to History, okay?"

I turn around only to have the football guys jump us. Should've known better, now all 10 of us are in   inschool detention. We're basically suspended in school and they only thing stopping us from tearing each other's throats out is Mr. Whitely a timid old man who teaches about the Middle East.

I don't think Cass could imagine the impact it's have on all of us


about 5 more chaps to go I think :)

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