it's getting harder to hold on

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 Mike and Justin had  brought in Kellin and  Vic  from the limo and  threw them on the  bunk together.  We all  laughed knowing those two would  end up cuddling in the morning. Which they did. I could hear Kellin speaking to Vic as if it was  me. Which turned into both of them yelling at each other. Then  someone  running into the bathroom to  empty out their stomach. 

I decided to go check on who it was. Seeing Kellin hunched  over the toilet, My stomached dropped. I felt terrible for him, my  boyfriend was sick.  I went in to comfort him. But remembered I couldn’t keep doing this, I had to try and not care. I needed that wall up again. So I decided to run and get him water.

I watched as  he sat  on the floor in pain, holding his head in his hands. I wanted to just hug him,to take it away.Make him feel normal again. It was only hang over  but I felt helpless to take it away, to take any pain away.  It was something you did when you loved someone. I hated that I  loved him.

He looked at me, I knew he  noticed my puffy eyes.

“Did I do something? his voice was weak, you could hear the  fear behind it.

My heart constricted. He thought he did something? How could he ever think he did something, he was perfect.

I felt my cheeks heat up and I had to look away. I wanted to tell him the truth. Just spill my heart out to him. but  i couldn't.

“You didn’t do anything” taking a  deep  breath so I could calm myself down, enough to look at him. He didnt question it. He had  no strength to do anything.  I slide beside him and let  him fall asleep on my shoulder.

He was so fragile, so beautiful. I hated myself for letting him in. i looked  down at the ring he gave me with the half  heart on it. Thinking back to when he gave it to me, asking to be his  girlfriend. It was genuinely the  sweetest thing a  guy has even done for me. To  prove that they wouldn't hurt me, to prove they would always be there. Tracing the outline of the  heart with my finger i felt tears invading my vision.  Truth was, he was going to eventually leave too, there was no forever.

“Hey, do you want some help?”  someone whispered from the door frame.  I looked up to see  Mike leaning against the frame. His eyes held concern. I smiled  whipping my  tears away and  nodded. He came over , bending down to help kellin up. Thankfully he  was  half asleep, helping us walk him to the empty  bunk.

“Thanks”  I whispered.

“ no problem” Mike smirked, thinking I was  being over grateful for helping me.

“No I mean for last night, I ..I don’t know what id do without you” I was choking on My words. He pulled me into a hug.

“Your  my sister, I would  do anything for you. If  it means that I would have to kill him, I would. Im not letting you go back to that time in your life.”

Tears filled my vision once again,as I fought to keep them restrained. In defeat I let them fall this time. Mike and  I stood there for awhile.

“Come and have something to eat. We have a bit  of a drive till we hit  LA”

I nodded and followed him to the front. 

No one was in their  proper bus today.  Kellin and  I were in the  PTV bus while Vicky went with Justin into his bus with the rest of SWS.  I wanted Vicky to  be here right now.  I needed a girl to talk to.

SOOOOOOOOOOO  im having  writers block :(  school isnt helping so i was wondering  whos  point of view i should do, or any suggestions?  i just need a boost  to get my  brain working  THANKKKSSS &&& LOVEEE :D

Sometimes they say it should feel something like fire ( Kellin Quinn)Read this story for FREE!