The Human Heart [COMPLETED]

Not Ready For It

Anything beautiful is not made to last in a world such as the Borderlands. Chishiya knows that whatever glimpse of happiness he has been allowed to experience will be gone within the blink of an eye, be it through a game, death, or a stupid argument. It might be some self-fulfilling prophecy to wait for, but there is no questioning that it will happen.

It always does.

Which is really a shame, because for a couple of hours, Chishiya has truly been happy. Despite everything that happened – the chase, the King of Hearts, his stubborn's near-death experience. What followed after, those moments of trust and intimacy...

He has been able to focus on nothing but the two of them, and even though he knows that something will happen to break the fragile dreamworld, he's not yet ready to give up that happiness when he wakes up to the feeling of warm arms wrapping around him, a closeness that he'd usually despise. The feeling of skin against skin reminds him that they crossed another line that last night, a line he never imagined to cross under such circumstances. He doesn't regret it. Instead, he reciprocates the hug, not yet able to leave sleep behind.

The fact that the heater has run out of gas is what forces him to open his eyes eventually. The temperature would be bearable, since day will quickly heat everything up, but they can't make warm water like this, neither for tea or coffee nor for food.

The face of his stubborn buries deeper into his chest, her mourn telling him that she doesn't feel ready to leave either. "We could just stay in bed for a while longer. It's still warm enough here."

Good luck trying to heat up water with the warmth of just a blanket. "The gas bottle won't replace itself."

"Mhhm", she chuckles, "maybe if we wait long enough..."

He will long have done it if she waits long enough, so no need for her to get up. She has been the one suffering the electrocution after all, not him. Taking a deep breath, he pushes the blanket aside and sits up, feeling how the air immediately cools down his skin. He feels a bit sore, and it shows now that he's not used to so much running and other things. Luckily for him, the Diamonds game won't require too much physical activity, and today will be the day. Whatever happens, today he'll either defeat the Jack or the King of Diamonds – or both. No stubborn, no sniper and no other game will stop him from doing so.

It doesn't take long to get dressed and replace the empty gas bottle with a new one, and the weather hasn't changed much since yesterday. The clouds are full of rain that will come down later today, and the wind blows heavily around his face. Not just a simple storm lasting a single day, but a whole typhoon as it seems.

Chishiya watches the caravan before he gets back inside. Home. A temporary home, but home nonetheless. It would be so easy to get used to it, waking up next to this woman morning after morning, searching through the city for food and other important things once in a while. But that is exactly why he can't let it happen, because it'd cause him to lose focus. He has already moved aside from the path leading him straight to his goal, and he won't drift away any farther. This doesn't mean that he has to run away from her or this place. The words he said last night didn't escape his lips in a dizzy state of mind, no. He meant them and he still does, however they did not make him an entirely different man.

His stubborn has fallen asleep again when he gets back inside, and she doesn't even stir when he reactivates the heater, sets up water to boil and prepares some breakfast. Such a peaceful silence; it would almost be hard to believe that they're in the middle of an abandoned city with people dying around them all the time. He even spends some time reading parts of the Metamorphosis again, because the other books inside the caravan are not really interesting enough for now and Kafka's work remains a masterpiece with its outstanding and clearly different approaches. That it is never explained how exactly Gregor turned into a cockroach, as he seems to get used to it without too many complaints himself. When he eats rotten food or all his furniture is removed so he can climb around the walls better, he doesn't complain. Only when Gregor is afraid to lose the one painting that remains on his wall, depicting a woman clad in fur, he is desperate to let go. This is probably the last bit of humanity he has left inside, and losing the portrait would mean to lose this bit as well. Not that there is too much humanity left of him in the end.