femboy ~ seungjin

fifty six.

tw// self harm .

minho grew concerned at the way jisung was texting him...

> hanniesung:

minminho: jisung ?

minminho: are u okay?
sent • 11:37pm

'how come he went offline?' minho wondered as he bit his nails. should he go to jisung's dorm to see if he's alright? no...that's too soon.

"fuck it..." he pressed the call button on jisung's contact.

it rang for a minute before jisung answered.

minho could hear incoherent words from the other side of the line, as if jisung was mumbling to himself.
"....hello? jisung?" he quietly spoke.

jisung's eyes widened as he stopped belittling himself once he heard minho's soothing and precious voice resonate from the phone.

"m-m-min..." a small smile grew on his face, tears still falling from his eyes.

it was as if minho was a drug he was longing for in the moment, instantly making him feel much better.

"were you having a panic attack, sung?" he asked the younger; his staggered and uneven breathing gave it away.

"minho...please f-forgive me..." 'please forgive me for hurting you and for the thing's i have done during this past week...i broke the promise.'

"jisung, i think it's better if we talk about it tomorrow, you should rest.."

oh minho, always so selfless.

"i-i love you so much m-minho..." jisung breathed out.

"i...." minho stayed silent after that. he was still mad at the other and hated the fact that he wanted to give in and put it all behind them.

"i'll talk to you tomorrow. goodnight."

and then the call ended.

jisung immediately felt like breaking down once again after minho ended the call. it's barely been a few seconds since it was over and he already missed the older boy's comforting voice.

he gripped at his own hair harshly as he whimpered at the pain, he deserved the pain.

"im such an idiot. he'll never forgive me...i don't deserve his forgiveness.." he sobbed to himself.

he rocked himself back and forth and hugged his frail self, his slim body shaking as he felt like he was surrounded by dark shadows, ready to devour him at any moment.

how could he hurt the only boy that loved him?

he was terrible.

and terrified.

minho was too good for him.

he was an idiot for believe chan, someone who was unsure of the accusations thrown at minho himself.

he couldn't take it anymore, he dug his nails into the fresh cuts on his thighs, hissing at the arrogant pain.

this is what he deserved.

~tbc

pretty thing felix 🤝 femboy jisung > both being mentally unstable in my books.

i feel like i put myself too much in these kind of characters as someone who has been diagnosed with depression for almost 3 years 💀

hope u guys enjoyed!!

hopefully i'll update again tmrw😏