Goddess of Light

Chapter 87 ~ A New Hope

---Steve's POV---

The last five years had been nothing short of hell.

For the most part I was on my own. Theia had left. James and Rory were gone. Bucky and Sam and pretty much everyone else were as well. Tony had moved away with Pepper and started a family, but I was still here.

It felt like everyone just moved along with their lives, but I was stuck and sinking in the mud, struggling to get out, but there was no one to help me. Nat was there, but she was stuck in the mud with me. Both of us refusing to let ourselves or the other move on.

I had tried to cope, but it always felt like there was something missing, which there was. I knew that I needed Theia to heal and mend, but she had barely been capable of caring for herself before she decided she couldn't stay and left me on my own.

Now, she seemed to be fine, but I was still scrambling to pick up the pieces. I remembered the relief I felt when she staggered off that jet. I wasn't going to be alone in this. We would have each other, but I guess I was wrong about that and her.

Scott had come back and presented us with a sizeable amount of hope, and I was determined to make his plan work. It had too. I couldn't stay like this forever, in a constant lag. The opportunity had presented itself and I had to take it.

Him and I were sat in the car, waiting for Nat so that we could try and get Tony to help us. He was probably the only person that would be able to help us, so I just hoped that he would say yes.

We had been waiting for around 15 minutes before I decided to go back inside and see what was keeping her.

She was in the same room we had left her, half her sandwich still lingering on the table, probably gone slightly stale. She was loitering around the table as if she was waiting for something.

"What are you waiting for? Scott is in the car." I beckoned her, but she planted her feet in the floor.

"I just need a minute..." She murmured, avoiding my gaze.

"Why?" I asked, a little frustrated. I wanted to fix everything desperately and she was delaying it for, seemingly, no reason.

"It feels wrong. Doing this without her." She muttered as she leant back against the table and meeting my eyes as I sighed deeply.

"Well, she's not here and she won't come." I stated, trying to hide my sadness. I wished she would come, but she was millions of miles away, physically and metaphorically.

"You don't know that..." She tried to convince me, but I had heard it all before.

After Theia left, Nat had been at my side, trying to convince me that she would come back and that we still had a chance at being happy, but Theia never came. That chance, however, was slowly coming back into view.

"She hasn't spoken to either of us in over four years. She left me here. Do you really think she has any loyalty to us?" I sneered, letting my bitterness roll off my tongue.

"Of course, she does!" Nat defended her, prompting my eyes to roll to the sky.

"I'd love to see evidence for that." I scoffed, dispelling any thought in my head that she might still care.

"You still love her though, right?" She asked me with a small, hopeful smile.

"That is complicated." I sighed, not even knowing the answer myself.

"Why is it so complicated? You still love her, don't you?" She pleaded.

I didn't know how I felt. If anything, I was just lost. But Nat knew that.