Midnight Thoughts

Deep down

Happy Reading... to all Potterheads

(please read, I am begging...unless you are uncomfortable with slight psychological stuff I guess, it's a mild one though, according to me)

Tired from all the celebrations of his birthday(even though Al just came back, Molly still decided birthday celebrations are a must. Well as long as it keeps her happy), he decided to take a break and go for a walk in the park. So funny that just a few days ago he was missing the feeling of death about him and wanted some action but now he is thankful for the peace. It's different this time when Voldemort died, he felt happy that no one else would ever die again but he couldn't help not feeling empty and perhaps a bit sad. It was like a part of him was mourning for the loss of Tom, the boy who had been a part of his life, a part of him for a long time, too long actually. 

But this time, he was happy and really at peace, no longings this time. He really became a family man huh? it's funny how the boy who once had no one to love him, no one to love found friends and people he would love to die for and finally his kids for whom, he had decided to give up on what he yearned for so much only to find out that he stopped yearning for it a long time ago. Yes, although he hasn't told anyone he had missed it, the feeling of death. The sweet feeling of danger, lurking at every corner. Not even being able to trust himself, lest his brother decided to trick him yet again. Harry knows how crazy it sounds but he can't help it. Being an Auror doesn't actually help satiate his desires. It's child play to him, nothing any of those lawbreakers could plan would ever surprise him, everything seemed so obvious. But every time he spent time with his family, his friends though desires seemed to disappear almost as if they never existed. For a while, he wondered if he was going mad, but then decided to give up thinking and just concentrate on spending more time with his family. Sometimes it seems like Hermione knows what's going on in his mind, she would sometimes give him a small, sad smile but never ask him anything. And he was grateful for that, he wasn't sure if he could take having his weakest part bared open very calmly. 

But now he was ready to talk about it, and the first people to know this should be kids right? So that this doesn't happen ever again. After all, Al was never supposed to think like this, he wasn't supposed to think that he had Harry Potter as his dad. He only wanted to be Harry for his children. It went all wrong, he shouldn't have tried to be strong in front of them. He should have shown his weak sides more often, so they knew that he also was a human in the end, no different than them. 

Harry, where are you?

Coming back, just needed to think some things through. Are the kids sleeping?

They are waiting for you. Everybody's waiting for you.

And I am grateful for that Ginny. But tell them that the sentiment is enough since we don't have enough space to fix everyone a place to sleep.

It seems like you're okay. Don't worry they just want to say goodbye that's all. 

Alright, I will be back. I have thought enough for today anyway. I am not Hermione after all, thinking doesn't suit me. I feel like I am going to be sick.

Ginny chuckled. She sounds lovely and like home.

Alright then come back in one piece, don't splinch.

I won't. Bye

Bye