Once Upon A Cinderella

Keep Your Head Up Princess

We all know that not all princesses are crowned, some live without knowing they are of royalty while others choose to avoid living under the complexity of titles. Everybody says anybody can be a princess, but I say that it is your life experience that makes you one. What is that princess who lives a boring life, nothing... absolutely nothing? The struggles you face shape you into a being, a fierce queen. The struggles you face alter your determination. It makes you want to scream until you achieve. It makes you want to dream and dream and dream.

Well, not for everybody but the typical INFP... At least that's what we do. Dream, Dream, Dream, and there is a lot of dreaming after that. I know not everybody has the same point of view when it comes on to MBTI. But that's them and am so glad am unique and different from them. That's them and I am me... A beautiful hot piece of mess, a damn queen. Where is my crown? Probably I should check the trash?

I am such a lost cause; I have been working on this book and I just can't seem to find a hook. Like how hard is it to find a hook? It's just a piece of thing... or a piece of rod. I don't even know what's a hook. I am just a stupid girl studying psychology while working a full-time job and also writing a book that everybody hates. Well, that everybody is one person, but he is everybody in my world. I mean... Can someone be both a vampire and a pastor? Just thinking that out loud seems utterly ridiculous. But that is my imagination, and nothing beats that.

"Sam, are you in there?" Oh, not this time. Why does this always happen? This sucks!

"Not now Peter pan." Gosh, he is so always around, and it's annoying.

" Why do you keep interrupting my thoughts process session?"

"Sam, you are at work! Leave your thoughts at home." My employee sternly voiced. Then how would I think, I lightly chuckled.

"Sam am serious. There is nothing to laugh about here. You have been in the bathroom for about an hour. What the fuck, man, you are at work. I told you yesterday that today is going to be one of the busy days, and can't you see I am short on employees." He is right, but I have been so stressed out lately. Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with me.

I just feel like I am losing grip on the meaning of life itself. I am writing and the very thought of me failing is so triggering. I barely get time for myself. I have to juggle work and school. And I have to make time for writing cause that's what I want to do. I am just going to school to support my writing, and that's what peter can't understand. He is always telling me to drop my books. And focus on school and my job. And I know he is looking out for me but if I should do that. Twenty years later, instead of being an outstanding psychiatrist. I am going to be the one in a mental hospital. I just really don't want to fail.

I lightly sniffed inside my turtle neck. I know disgusting, but who doesn't do that.

"Look, Sam, I know it is hard for you, But I got you this job and if you do anything bad it is going to reflect on me." He is right. What was I thinking, getting lost in my thoughts? I just can't seem to focus under extreme stress.

"I am sorry, okay am really sorry I didn't mean to make you look bad but after the argument, we had about my book last night I just feel not okay," I told him picking useless matter off my pants, I knew I should have hand wash this piece of thing. Now it's junk!

"Look, us as a couple gives you no permission to punish me at work, over arguments we had in the comfort of our home. When we agreed to this, we agreed to not let our personal lives impede our competency. You wanted this job so you gotta make it work for you." He always thinks that my daydream at work revolves around him. I am my own person. I got things on my plate too!

"I am not affecting your competency... But okay. When we agreed to this we also agreed that you will let your boss lessen my workload." I shrugged.

"So that's it, You want to get the same pay as everyone, but do lesser work, isn't that something." Okay so we are having this here, I flushed the toilet for no reason and swung the bathroom door open, oops that was his face. I moved to wash my hands, not looking at the impact that I had made.

"That was my fucking face, Gosh Sam." Yep! And that wasn't close as bad as the scars he had left on my fucking back. I should have pushed it harder.

He grabbed me up against the wall by my throat. "I said that was my fucking face!"

I gasped, frighten, then again, why was I frightened? This should have been expected. I mean, he lives off this... this is his food. I knew my face had gotten pinker by now. I tried to look into his eyes, but mine was too blurry.

I loud gasped escaped from me as I landed on the floor. Fuck, he dropped me. Hannah rushed in.

"Why do you keep doing this to her, do you enjoy this?" He scuffed looking at her.

"None of your business, Hannah!" He said, exiting the bathroom.

Hannah looked at me with pity. Gosh, I hate that look.

"I know we aren't friends, but I know what you are feeling right now." She sniffed. "That monster used to do the same thing to me too, he won't ever change." She swallowed as she said something to me I knew as truth. "He won't ever love you"

I know, I know he won't ever love me, but he is the only thing that I have now. If I ever leave him, where will I go? I don't have the luxury of owning an apartment; I don't have a friend I can stay with. He is the one helping with my tuition. My entire world revolves around him. If I leave, I'll just be a street cat.

Hannah twisted the rag that she had used to tender my scars and placed it in the bath area.

She came around back to me and patted my head. "Keep your head up princess." She said before she left me all by myself, shaking.