Drunk Confessions of a Best Man (s.m)

The First Time We Almost...

One week, five days left...

You have a nice ass.

Like a really nice ass. I'm a respectful guy, don't get me wrong but fuck I've been around you too much to have stolen enough glances that I know the shape by heart. And damn. Damn, Shawn Peter Raul Mendes, I could write a song about that ass. I would die for that ass. Put that last sentence on my gravestone but replace 'that' with 'Shawn Mendes' cos I need everyone to know whose divine, sacred entity I sacrificed my life for.

Is this a weird way to start? This is a weird way to start. I know. Don't judge me. I really, really didn't plan to think about your ass today. Or you. But you told me to come over so you could do a suit fitting whatever and I want to yeet myself off a building because no human being should be allowed to have so much beauty.

Every single inch of you is a work of art. Your fingers, I want them all over me. Your eyes, burn me with that gaze. You're a lot dirtier than you let on, ya know. Happy I've seen that side of you many, many times, before. Sad I never just crossed the threshold and fucked you against my kitchen counter, though. Or on the floor. Or against the wall... Ahem.

First time I seriously considered fucking you, we were at a club together. In one of those exclusive VIP sections for rich people. I just didn't want anyone to see us alone together. Not cos I'm scared of the publicity, more because I didn't want a single person to soak in the sexiness that oozed off you. Wanted you all to myself. I'm glad you're so confident around me, most times but it's also a little hard when you're so hot. Scratch that, a lot hard.

Who the fuck told you to grind on me that day, anyway? I kept trying to nudge you away but you just couldn't help but come back when you saw it had an effect on me. Everytime I growled, you just giggled. So I played my trump card.

You don't know a person well and not eventually find out their kinks, right? You have a praise kink. A pretty strong one. You also have a degradation kink but the latter would only have gotten you more desperate, the former would get you to obey. All I had to do was tell you to be a good boy and stop. You got up instantly and apologised. It seemed the alcohol left your eyes and your face was red. You were embarrassed about what you did. Embarrassed? Around me, of all people? I suddenly felt guilty about making you stop and my horny brain and raging boner were quick to side with that feeling.

You said something about getting home and obviously, being less drunk (shocking, I know) I had to follow you. But you kept pushing me away and I couldn't stand it. So with no other thought in mind other than making things normal between us, I grabbed your wrist and pulled you into an alleyway, then pressed you against the wall.

I can still remember my exact words but only because of the way you reacted to them. What was it I said? Angel, you can be as slutty as you want with me, I love every single part of you. You looked me dead in the eye with your lips parted just a fraction and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't deny there was lust in those eyes. I also couldn't deny that you said two words that absolutely wrecked me for any future lovers.

Niall, please.

How could you? How dare you, huh? Who gave you the right to have voice that can sound innocent as hell and like pure sex at the same time? That day... I laughed it off. I told you your drunkeness was having an effect on you. But there's so many times I think back to that moment in the alleyway. You weren't actually sober enough that I would ever have touched you, of course. In that state, consent isn't something you can give when you couldn't even walk two steps on your own but I like to imagine what would've happen if that had just been a regular day and you weren't inebriated. We never brought up what happened that night again, other than a little teasing from me but fuck, Shawn...

Heh if anyone ever read this I feel like I'd lose my street cred as church boy Niall. But you know more than anyone that I'm not exactly the height of purity. We've both crossed lines before trying to rile each other up and trust me, that was not the last time I thought about ripping your clothes off, not even close. In fact, I'm thinking about it right now so uh sorry I guess. I should stop thinking about you, now. Shawn, you know exactly how to puppet me, can you please come over here and help me turn my body off? I'm trying to be a gentleman and respect you but these images popping up in my head aren't at all helpful. A good friend would never imagine his mate on his knees wearing a collar so hush, brain, that's enough slices?!?

Ahem. I love you, okay? This wasn't exactly a cute note but this book is for me alone, it's not like you'll ever know how crazy you make me. I love you, Shawnie. I love you I love you I love you.