My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 23

This was obviously how it would end up Josh, he liked the thrill of something new, you enjoyed the sparks reigniting. Neither of you did anything wrong, you haven't fucked your friendships with anyone and at least now you know you're not as dead inside as you thought you'd always be. Hold onto that, it's a fucking good thing.

The light from the moon is all that illuminates the room, the headache I can feel forming means the last thing I want is more light in here anyway.

Pulling open the window, the fresh air hits me hard but it's still not enough. I feel like I'm struggling to take in oxygen, the weight on my chest too heavy to let it rise and fall properly no matter how much I'm trying to convince myself I'm fucking fine.

This is ridiculous Josh. You can't be like this. This is what happens when you let yourself run away with scenarios that only exist in your head, it's not healthy.

I step out of the window onto the fire escape, the names of all the people who have stayed in this room before etched into the metal like a reminder of how big yet small this world is. Who knows these people's stories? Maybe one of them found themselves here too, standing under the moonlight hoping the burning rage of the stars would somehow melt the ice they feel growing in their soul.

I've got to get it together, when I get back I have to sort out that project at work and I know Liam is going to be a state after not seeing me for so long. That's what I need to be concerned about.

I have so much more to focus on. I don't have time to be feeling like this about Milo fucking Thom-

"I don't know why she did that."

My body becomes rigid, the sweet melody of his voice catching on the wind and flowing to my ears. The heart in my chest forgets its rhythm, just beating enough to keep me from slipping away.

The sound of the window closing and his boots hitting the metal behind me is all that breaks the silence.

"I don't know why she kissed me like that, she knows we aren't ever going to be together like that again. I should've pushed her off quicker, I just.. I didn't realise what was happening."

My fingers grip the railing in front of me, the cold sharp metal firm against the pads. We're at the side of the building, over looking the forest rather than the camp. In front of me is pure blackness, so all I can focus on to keep me from crumbling is the stars above us instead.

"She really cares about you Miles, you're a good match. You should go back to her."

His boots hit the metal again, this time bringing him closer until the cold that once surrounded me is replaced quickly by the warmth of his body, his chest lightly brushing against my back.

"What if I don't want to go back to her? What if I want to stay right here... with you?"

The tips of his fingers brush against my hip, applying more pressure as they trail up into my waist and hold firm there. Every time he touches me, the world becomes filtered, my perspective altered until I can't decipher my own fucking thoughts anymore. The bumps that rise up on my body cause me to shiver unwillingly, only making him grip me harder.

"Trust me, you don't want to do that Miles. It won't end well. She's perfect for you, funny and kind... She's what you need. She's beautiful."

Miles' body comes forward, everything in me melting when his other arm loops around my chest, holding his hand over my heart as he lays his forehead down against the back of my head. His deep, smooth voice speaks his breath onto the sensitive skin of my neck, every word he speaks causing a tidal wave reaction to flow through my body.

"You're beautiful."

He thinks I'm beautiful...

I'm always strong, always the one that keeps everybody else together. So how the fuck does he make me feel so weak?

My body relaxes into his, his arms circling me tightly to keep us together. I know we shouldn't be in this position, I'm the one that should be telling him to stop and making him go back.

I just really don't fucking want to.

"What can you see Josh? Do you remember what I showed you last night?"

Letting my head fall back, I glance up at the sky, Miles' head slipping down into the crook of my neck. I spot the bright star, flowing into the three, following it down to connect the constellation just like he showed me.

"There." I point gently towards the pattern.

He smiles gently against me, before my whole body erupts with electricity as his lips meet the side of my neck. Fuck.

"Good. What else?"

I continue to search them out, remembering every word he spoke as he held me on the ground and taught me about something I've never understood before him. He has so much he could show me, I have a whole world I want him to see too.

Every time I spot something in the sky through my hazed mind, he rewards my words with a kiss to the supple skin of my neck. He's so fucking good at this. The sensation is overwhelming, each time he connects the nerve endings in my body spit fire directly into my blood. I've never felt so fucking alive.

Until finally he finds my spot, the spot that makes my whole body jerk in reaction. A delicate moan leaves my lips and my eyes fall closed, except this time he doesn't stop at one. Small delicate kiss after kiss, his grip on me increasing with each one, now he's holding me with so much force I don't think I'll ever escape him.

A group of boys laugh and joke as they enter the building from the path, the noise of the outside world drawing me back to reality.

What the fuck are we doing?

"Miles, you have to let me go." I whisper huskily, trying to sound firm but it does nothing to deter him.

He lifts his head from my neck but keeps it close enough I can feel him against my skin. "No."

Shit. I wish him being like this wasn't turning me on so fucking much.

"Miles." I tug my whole body, tearing myself free and launching for the window to get back inside.

He sees exactly what I'm about to do, not hesitating in the slightest before ripping me back by my wrist, capturing my shoulders as I almost fall and shoving me roughly up against the wall.

There's virtually no height difference between us but right now, before me, he looks like a fucking giant.

His jaw is firm, but his eyes are so fucking soft. He's pleading with them long before any words leave his lips.

"Don't Josh, please don't. Don't run, not from me." He leans his forehead down against mine, the emotion riddling his body and seeping through his touch on me. He's fucking shaking. "Not from this.."

I don't want to fucking run Miles... I really don't want to.

My heart races as I reach up and hold his cheek, stroking my thumb against the bone. I think he's the most handsome man I've ever seen, the innocence I thought was lost is still there behind his eyes.

With baited breath I try to force out the words my heart doesn't even believe anymore. "You're my best friends little brother Milo, we can't do this."

He looks back at me with those fucking gorgeous pale hazel eyes and I can't keep holding back from him for much longer, this pull dragging us towards each other is too strong. I close my eyes, trying to stop the words screaming in my head.

I don't want to walk away from him...

He steps in even closer, his coffee stained breath mixing with my own until the taste of him is all that coats my tongue.

Letting go of my shoulders slowly, he reaches up with both hands to hold my face, all fear I had that this thing was in my head is gone the moment he forces my gaze to soak him in.

"Look at me..."

He's so beautiful. His gaze drops from my eyes to my lips, his own parting as he sucks in a deep breath before returning to me.

Oh fuck.

"I'm not a kid anymore Josh.."

The words leave his lips...

...before they meet mine.

Our lips brush each other softly, every voice that usually screams in my head to stop is silenced. I'm not afraid with him, fuck, I'm not afraid. He tilts my head, keeping his thumbs pressed against my jaw as he holds me so he can keep me here.

Fuck it. The moment of freeze is over, and with authority I kiss him back.

He smirks into the kiss the moment he realises I'm kissing him too, his plump perfect fucking lips pushing against mine hungrily now. He tastes so fucking good, the butterflies that sat in my stomach now roam freely throughout my entire body as with each touch of him I sink further into his grasp. He's not used to giving up power and neither am I, every move we begin to make is a fight for dominance, yet one we'd both be happy to lose.

My hands move to run over his back, soothing his muscles and tugging at the material of his shirt as I try to get to more of him unconsciously. My skin craving the touch of his.

Reaching up to cup the back of his head and interlocking my fingers with his hair, I push forward, forcing him to step back until he hits the railings behind him and I can take the power. His mouth slipping open only makes me smile more, his tongue smoothly brushing against mine.

Fuck Milo...

Heat runs all over my frame as it rises from my toes to my head in appreciation. Fuck, I've never been kissed like this. No matter what I do, it's not enough. My tongue and his taking a deep exploration, his lips searching out every inch of my own. Our hands roaming freely but never letting go.

His movements are forceful but nurturing, everything he's doing telling me he knows exactly what he wants and making my head spin with dizzying clouds of emotions.

I don't know how we made it off the balcony, or into the bed. Our lips never left each other, hours or days could've gone by and neither of us would've noticed.

There was no part of me that wanted to stop, no part of him that would've let me if I tried.

I could honestly fucking kiss him forever.

At some point exhaustion took us for its own. The last thing I remember before our eyes fell shut was his hand finding mine under the covers, my other wrapping around him and his lips resting against my own as I held him close. I'm not letting you go Miles.

Blackness overtook us both, the chill of the night blanketed by the heat if our exchange until his final words spoke to me before I could truly slip away into the abyss.

"You are my stars."

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