Author's note: okay so this has been the hardest weeks I've ever been through. This fandom is so fucked up with everything that involves Zayn Malik and I'm so fucked up too then, I don't know really what to think or do about all of of this but I just know that even when I'm forty I won't get overt the fact that Zayn left the band for a greasy donut. I know it was a little childish leaving this for a moment but I just love those five idiots so much and thinking about a future split up just split ME up. Right now I'm much better (thanks for the ones who really cared about my mental health, I really appreciate it. Talking to all of you helped me getting through this xx) because Niall, Liam, Louis and H just assured us all the end is far from over so I'm a little radiant (not at all because I miss Zayn as shit) but the good news is that I feel like writing again! Thank you for 38K & 24.1K wtf I'm overwhelmed!!
So I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and... no one will ever guess what the future (and I) wants for Linry.
I love you, xoxo.
(Sorry I had to do that hah!)
Four months without Harry.
"You staying later?" He asks me.
"Yes I am, work has been so hard today. I'm so sorry, we can have dinner in my place tomorrow,"
"It's okay! Do you want me to go for you at work?"
"No, it's okay, I brought my car today. Do you want me to stay the night with you?"
"Okay, I'll be there," I smile and hang up.
"Is he picking you up again?" Gemma enquires.
"Nope," I shake my head no.
"You look so tired... you've been taking care of your nephew for a week nonstop,"
"My brother needs me now that his wife is in another country,"
"But you need to rest... weren't you going to rest today?"
"No... I said Danny was taking his baby and I out for dinner but it's so late and Andrew is sleeping," I explain.
Gemma shakes her head, "I don't like the attitude you've had from the last two weeks. What happened to you?"
"Nothing," I lie.
"Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure," I smile weakly.
Ellie comes behind Gemma; she works here too and is such a nice person.
"Tomorrow is Charlotte's baby shower, are you coming?" She asks me.
"Sure," I smile. "Can I bring my nephew? My brother will be working all day and I can't leave an eleven months old kid alone,"
"Sure. It's a baby shower," she laughs.
A car horns outside.
"My boyfriend is here! Bye, bye girlies," she kisses both of our cheeks and walks away.
"Can you please take me home?" Gemma asks me.
"You don't even need to ask that," I laugh and we walk to my car.
I'm too tired of been asked what's going on with me and me trying not to cry. Harry called me a slut, a bad person, a covetous and selfish girl, that he didn't know why he had fallen for me and he was much better alone.
This hurt me, listening to someone I love saying this is the most hurtful way to kill me, he hasn't even tried to apologise and we went to the same freaking party and he still didn't mind looking for me and saying a simple "sorry". I saw him laughing and having fun in the VIP section while Gemma, her friends and mines -including Carter- were at the other side. He didn't even go to say hi to his own sister and it shows how much he's changed and how he is just a heartless super star.
"You've been thinking about others and that's nice but when are you going to be first before them?" Gemma asks me.
"I am studying so hard and it makes me put myself first,"
"I don't mean studies I mean your life. Look, I know something happened to you and if it involves my knobhead of a brother then spill the guts,"
I hesitate, then I remember they're not talking because he's been so rude to everyone and I open my mouth, "he called me Halloween's night telling me I was selfish, harnessed, he didn't know he fell for me and that he was much better without me,"
"Son of a-," she sighs, "Lin I'm so very sorry. You know that isn't true, if you were selfish you wouldn't be babysitting Andy, if you were harnessing him you wouldn't have quitted your job or loved him for a year and he isn't much better without you. In every interview he says he misses someone and it's not your cat, it's you," she smiles, "he's just trying to get over this trying to act as a strong bull but he's just too sensitive,"
"I discovered I get too attached to people that when they're away I literally want to kill myself. My life hasn't been easy, I've had just few friends and I still talk to all of them but if one day they walk away then I don't know what I'll do. I love your brother, I will always love him and hearing him saying all of that just broke my heart into tiny pieces," I am already crying.
"I would hug you but you're driving so I'll just speak out. You will always have me by your side after everything, all of us at Bleach love you so much and we are all your friends. I met Miranda and Mayer and they love you too. Kaylee is like your sister and Jacob is like your brother so you don't need a boy by your side when you belong to Styles' and Williams' family and will always,"
"Thank you so much," I smile and wipe my tears, "you know? I'll tell Danny I can't babysit Andy the day after tomorrow and we can have a single girls' night out,"
"I love the idea! At your place because Harry has been coming to my flat nightly,"
"I don't know. I'm not letting him in. If he's so famous he can look for another family in Hollywood,"
"Please don't treat him differently for what I told you, I don't want you to argue with him."
"You've been more my sister these months than him. I sacrificed work for him and while he's in London he doesn't hang out with me and then he goes to Los Angeles and doesn't call me,"
"I'm really, really sorry,"
"It's okay," she shrugs, "it happened once already,"
"After what happened with Paige?"
"Yes," she nods, "so I don't care. Take care, call me if you need help or something and... I'll see you tomorrow!" She smiles and gets out of my car.
I've been thinking about selling this car and buying another one, his fans already know this one and it's so scary when I get home and they're outside screaming out things to me but then I remember how much I always wanted this car since I was seven years old and I regret.
Daniel's flat isn't so far so I get quickly in there, I'm so happy he finally moved in London forever because I can be with him all the time. I wanted my father to come and explain us all what he did but now is Danny who doesn't want him close so from the day he appeared in my house to today I haven't contacted him.
I open the door and see my brother sleeping on the couch; I cover him with a blanket and take off his shoes like he used to do with me when I was a little girl. I go to the kitchen and eat a slice of pizza with orange juice before going to bed.
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